Living In ‘The London Bubble’ Means…

London

A giant soap bubble floats past the Houses of Parliament in central London October 29, 2012. REUTERS/Stefan Wermuth (BRITAIN - Tags: SOCIETY POLITICS CITYSPACE)

*uses West Country accent*

‘So what’s this ‘London Bubble’ we’ve been reading so much about then?’

It’s a state of mind that clouds us in the capital and stops us from thinking properly.

It’s the thing we enter when we open the Evening Standard property pages, look at an article praising a stack of minuscule glass shoeboxes in Dalston borders going for £1.5 million and think ‘they’re nice.’

It’s humblebragging at a dinner party because the dessert was shop-bought from Hummingbird Bakery.

It’s saying ‘The National’ because everyone knows you mean ‘Theatre’ and not ‘Health’.

It’s nipping next door to borrow the neighbour’s raclette grille.

It’s struggling to discuss immigration without offering the services of your polish builder.

It’s saying ‘Oh, haven’t you seen it yet?’ instead of ‘Have you seen it?’

It’s going outside London and being shocked by the number of babies everywhere.

It’s not bothering to mention Trump or Brexit because nobody you know disagrees with you.

It’s realising that you haven’t gone to a public cinema in years unless The Electric or Bafta count.

It’s telling other people you’ve never heard of TK Maxx.

It’s saying, ‘London’s like a village. We have a marvellous butcher who’ll spatchcock chickens.’

It’s not being able to remember the last time you drove an actual car.

It’s meeting up with friends for dinner at short notice on a Wednesday night.

It’s getting an invite to a Northern city and going to Paris instead because it’s cheaper to get there.

It’s two words that cause panic; ‘Mango shortage’.

It’s wondering what you’ll do if it bursts.

 

 

 

5 comments on “Living In ‘The London Bubble’ Means…”

  1. Wayne#1 says:

    Ahh the memories of London. You are just so on point Mr F. It all seems so distant for me now but I lived in that bubble for 30 years and the worst of it is you don’t know its there till you leave for good.

  2. Jan says:

    That’s spot on Wayne. Toddling around town this week I have sort of picked up on this a bit but it really has passed me by now.

  3. Roger says:

    I’m still wondering what a raclette is.
    Presumably you can’t get a raclette grille from TKMaxx. There are actually several TKMaxxes in London, so the people who haven’t heard of them are a bubble in a bubble.

  4. Martin Tolley says:

    LITLB means…. you are in an area where there might be some truth in the phrase beloved of TV chefs, ” .. an ingredient now widely available in supermarkets..”

  5. David Ronaldson says:

    I heard a woman this morning telling someone she lived in Hackney “Do you know it? It’s sort of Islington, really”. I heard myself singing quietly “..if it wasn’t for the ‘ouses in between”

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