The Case For English Eccentricity
M’Lud, I am here to argue that our country is still as eccentric as it always was, and in some cases considerably more so. I will now submit my evidence.
The Winter Solstice, time for Pagans, Druids and other mentally disenfranchised loners to head to Stonehenge to mumble about ley lines, past-life regression, homeopathy and other discredited rubbish did not let us down this year. Hurrah to them for being so silly in these grim days. The world knows nothing at all about druids, by the way. Records suggest they were a sort of accountant, but they’re a blank page upon which anyone can write anything.
Autumn had brought us the bonfire societies, some of which have been deliberately revived in the face of EU interference. There were sacrifices, but only in effigy. And summer had brought everything from Morris Dancers to Jack-In-The-Green festivals.
Meanwhile in London eccentricity, long linked with creativity, is once more on the rise. King’s Cross, for example, is growing elephants. They keep appearing unbidden in unlikely places. Yesterday at this spot there was one, now there are two.
In Hackney last night, the annual panto took a strongly left-wing turn as the kingdom of Hackneytopia was menaced by Westminsteria, there was a song called ‘Never ask the People What they Want’ and it was suggested that royal decrees should be painted on the side of a bus to gain credibility. It was, by universal agreement, the noisiest panto ever staged here, with political jokes replacing smut for the adults (check out the dame’s hat, which keeps London European).
Meanwhile, it being Christmas, I found this sign in a fish and chip shop and was sorely tempted to try until I remembered I’m meant to be losing weight.
I’d feared that unusual behaviour would now be marked as an indication of terrorism, although the only lunatics standing on orange boxes ranting about religion around here are the Christians outside our station. After a year of horrible disappointments, it seems the English have once more decided to be Very Silly Indeed. And that can only be the sign of a healthy society. M’Lud, I rest my case.