Let’s Go Out, Darling!



I promise this is positively the last bonkers UKIP story of the year…

Apparently I was wrong. UKIP do have another key plank to their manifesto, apart from ‘Aren’t foreigners ghastly?’ In their 2010 manifesto edition they felt it should be made compulsory for people to wear evening dress to the theatre. The Daily Telegraph’s Charles Moore agreed with the plan, saying; ‘It is now almost compulsory not to dress up for the theatre, even in the West End. This has had the predictable result that theatre-goers pay less attention, eat and send texts all through the performance.’

This is right up there with those ‘herbal shampoos mend split ends’ claims. I’m not sure how dressing for the theatre affects your ability to text, but I went to see a jazz concert last night, and many in the young audience were texting throughout the show. Did it bother me? Not really. It probably would have done if I was attending a very sombre play, but we don’t complain about exit signs and overhead spotlights being on, do we?

I think UKIP didn’t go far enough – for the theatre, bustle skirts, top hats and monocles should also be required, and your landau should gallop over at least one working class child on the way to the theatre, crippling it.

Actually, there are some other UKIP reforms to consider. As pointed out by the LRB, ‘Nigel Farage & Co have no policies that align with their stance on immigration and European integration. They are tax cutters and public sector trimmers; they want to outsource more of the NHS; they would restrict benefits and dump the Crown Prosecution Service. They take an infantile pleasure in dirt and incontinence – landfill, tobacco smoke, coal-powered energy – and they don’t want a nanny state telling them’ what to do. Except, of course, when they tell us we have to dress up for the theatre.

There’s been some other news on the UKIP front – recently its voters were socially profiled by a research group who found that they don’t like foreign food, don’t read and have no interest in the arts. I’m not quite sure how this fits with the theatre dressing thing at all. But then nobody promised consistency.


9 comments on “Let’s Go Out, Darling!”

  1. Helen Martin says:

    Well, some people dressed somewhat for the pub last night- the John Betjeman, that is. One couple in green and yellow – rugby fans? – and others in suits. One man talking about the difficulties of movie making, etc., but the chief person was a very warm and welcoming lady named Jo W who, although a little shy, braved the crowds to meet up with this Canadian. We had a lovely visit and she was able to listen past the Bell’s Palsy I’ve developed this past week. Thank you, Chris for having this blog which meant she and I could meet and thank you Jo for a lovely evening. Hope someone enjoys the book. We were going to buy a packet of Tyrrell’s crisps and photograph it to give Dan a presence but we didn’t in the end.

  2. Jo W says:

    No,Helen, thank YOU for a very enjoyable evening. I hope you and your husband have a good journey home and that you take with you many happy memories of your trip to Europe. I missed a train so I had an opportunity to start that book. I’ll definitely give it a try and pass it on. What a good idea that is. ( Sorry,Admin,using your blog for personal messages.)

  3. Dan Terrell says:

    It’s the thought that counts, except when it’s food on a desert island. Two years ago I managed to get a packet of Tyrrell’s chips for the granddaughter at the G.B. booth at the annual E.U. day festivities. They go well with Australian red (also Tyrrell’s). Jo W sounds like a nice person from her posts. What book?

  4. Helen Martin says:

    Dan, I brought a Vancouver set novel to release as a BookCrosser. It is a futuristic, rather grim, but fascinating thing called “dance of Knives”.

  5. admin says:

    How wonderful that the blog has brought people together – having now met you both too! My only disappointment was being in the wrong country at the time…

  6. pheeny says:

    Agree entirely admin!
    And thank you for providing this space where like minded souls can congregate

  7. pheeny says:

    As for ukippers – I am sure they are not all entirely adverse to the odd tandoori – as some graffitti I saw recently says “How many UKIP supporters use take – aways”

  8. Vivienne says:

    Does anyone else think the Ukip logo looks like a new Poundshop type of thing? I am grateful to Nigel as he has convinced me I can’t be elderly as I don’t seem to feel uncomfortable near gays. What is the prescribed outfit for The Globe?

  9. admin says:

    A rain mac, given the English summer…

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