Why Church Attendance Plunged


Trawling around the interwebs for weird stuff (it beats channel surfing) I stumbled across the terrifying Junior Christian Science Bible Show, not realising that all-round good guy Andy Nyman had already laid into it on ‘Screenwipe’. For those of you who ‘enjoy’ this – there are lots more episodes online!

I particularly like Andy’s description of the puppets looking like ‘they were pulled from a burned-out building’, and the world scariest clown/thing at the end.

It goes to prove that no matter what dark stuff I dream up, there’s something scarier out there in the real world.

12 comments on “Why Church Attendance Plunged”

  1. J. Folgard says:

    Oooh, that singing dog/alien guitarist combo at the end of the clip made my day!

  2. Sair Feather says:

    I think the message about not doing drugs comes across really well…..just not in the way they intended. XD

  3. Sarah Mooring says:

    Sweet roller-skating Christ on a bike! That truly is one of the most unnerving things that I have seen in quite some time. I nearly lost it when that damn puppet’s ear fell off…

  4. Jo W says:

    Was it the intention to show youngsters that this is what the world looks like if you take drugs? It certainly made me think that something had been slipped into my cuppa tea this morning.

  5. Rachel Green says:

    My eyes! My eyes!

  6. John says:

    I want to be the PROFESSIONAL likeness of God! Who the hell wants to be amateur likeness of anything — let alone the Almighty.

    Public Access TV (not at all the same as professional public TV like PBS) in the US was filled with this kind of “creativity.” Average Joes and Janes who wanted to be on TV created these DIY programs with homemade costumes, sets and piss poor ideas. Usually only the equipment was professional. It was the YouTube of the country in the pre-internet days. I thought the entire concept died out in the late 1990s. I’m surprised in our digital video age that any community would waste their money (and tiny budgets) on public access TV.

  7. Peter Eng says:

    “Don’t do drugs, or you’ll think that making a show like this is a good idea.”

  8. Helen Martin says:

    I cringed, absolutely cringed! Those fluorescent colours and fade-in circles and diamonds! Are you sure this wasn’t made in the 60s? Being the person he is, my husband wants to know if the programme is made in Chicago because Albert’s cap is for the Chicago and South Shore Railroad. It’s well meaning at least and not spreading hatred.

  9. pheeny says:

    “Don’t do drugs, or you’ll think that making a show like this is a good idea.”

    Actually if you watch this show you will think you ARE on drugs already.

    That accordionist with the blue glasses will be taking a starring role in my nightmares from here on …

  10. pheeny says:

    btw John I originally heard that as “I am the immature likeness of God” although now I suspect it is the tautological “I am the image and likeness of God”

  11. Bob Low says:

    A ventriloquist’s doll singing the line ”I am the image and likeness of God” over and over again is like something from a Thomas Ligotti story.

  12. andrea says:

    and I thought the Davy and Goliath show was bad

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