Don’t Upset The Religioners

Film, Media, The Arts

So, Iran may boycott the 2012 Olympics unless the logo is changed because it spells ‘Zion’ and is part of a pro-Israeli lobby. Actually, that idea has been knocking about on the interweb for ages and there are videos showing the ‘letters’ rearranged accordingly, but it’s just a representation of ‘2012’.

Now, if somebody wanted to pull out because of the logo’s sheer crapness, that I could understand, seeing as it lacks any quality you would care to associate with the Olympics; grace, strength, elegance, endurance, style etc. and appears to be more like something you’d have found outside an eighties discount shop in Sheffield.

A note to any Arab extremists who don’t like it; Wolff Olins, the company paid a hilarious amount of money to come up with this dog, is right next door to me, so please don’t bomb it. I already have to pay terrorist insurance for living next to King’s Cross Station.

Well, logos change all the time. Here’s the Starbucks ‘Mermaid with two tails’ logo and its original version, which was abandoned when it became popular.

That’s right, they took out the bare breasts so they could sell coffee to more conservative communities. But that’s nothing. The latest edition of the Hollywood Reporter investigates different versions of movies being shown to faith and non-faith audiences in the US. In Dennis Quaid’s upcoming pro-faith ‘Soul Surfer’, the words ‘Holy Bible’ were erased from the book Quaid was reading his daughter and reinserted.

Meanwhile Justin Bieber’s ‘Never Say Never’ was quietly screened to religious leaders to sell in because the Feather-Cut Homunculus has announced he prays and reads the Bible twice a day. And if anyone doubts that US Christianity and Arabic fundamentalism are going down the same route, Hollywood Reporter also points out that in upcoming indie drama ‘Doonby’, actress Jenn Gotzon has her cleavage digitally removed to give her a more modest neckline for Christians. This is apparently known as ‘wardrobe enhancement’.

The word ‘Modest’ features heavily in Muslim culture. This is called a ‘Modestkini’ swimsuit, and comes in an attractive range of fabrics and colours. And if you’re worried about that being too provocative, there’s a much baggier version on their site.

7 comments on “Don’t Upset The Religioners”

  1. BangBang!! says:

    I’d never seen the original Starbucks logo before. I thought you were going to say they withdrew it because of the rather startling tails akimbo position. The breasts barely registered with me!

  2. David says:

    Speaking of Justin Bieber, check out:

    http://www.assistnews.net/Stories/2011/s11020143.htm

    Monday, February 21, 2011

    The Justin Bieber Bible Quiz
    By David Buckna
    Special to ASSIST News Service

  3. Mike Carrington says:

    Amongst my sons’ peers (he’s 17), the Olympic logo is said to resemble the cartoon character Maggie Simpson ‘giving someone head’, whatever that means….! Either way, the shocking fact is that someone paid for this? Yea Gods….

  4. admin says:

    Thanks David you just made my day that bit more nightmarish…

  5. Stephen Groves says:

    Hi Chris,
    Could we put the ‘Bieber’ in one of those Modesthini and sow the holes up?
    We live in hope.
    Regards
    STALKY

  6. Helen Martin says:

    If you want a really hysterical take on the modestkini see if you can find the original season of Little Mosque on the Prairie (available from CBC boutique, I believe) and find the episode where the cafe owner is taking aquatherapy for her ankle. The instructor is male so she has this floral “bathing suit” that is like the green number above but has ruffles all over it and is yellow with giant orange and brown flowers. The phrase “friend of Dorothy” is prominent in that episode as well.

  7. Steve says:

    A while ago, there were fundamentalists over here waving their bibles and screaming that the Starbucks logo was satanic…..because it includes a pentagram.

    It MUST be something in the water. IQ’s are getting closer to shoe size with every day that passes.

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