Monthly Archives: October 2009

David Frankland: Genius Artist

David Frankland is the artist behind the beautifully rendered covers of the Bryant & May books, but only the UK editions. I recently checked out his site and found a great many other stunning pieces of art he has produced for books. Frankland’s work follows a line of traditional styling via old railway posters and […]

The Vicar & Tina Turner

A very English story, this. The vicar of St Barnabus’ Church, Tunbridge Wells, is sick of officiating at cremations (or ‘crems’ as he calls them) and having to listen to mum’s doggerel poetry read over Tina Turner songs instead of a requiem mass. He feels his presence at a funeral where someone plays ‘Candle In […]

Jan Moir Hate Article Inspires Record Complaints

‘Fast, free, fair’ reads the logo of the Press Complaints Commission, to which we should probably add ‘And f**king Useless’. After the PCC received a record 21,000 complaints about bigoted old bag Jan Moir’s pre-burial attack on singer Stephen Gately, which managed to suggest that his civil partnership was somehow the cause of his death, […]

Season of Fire

Three colourful events on top of each other, Diwali (from the Sanskrit meaning a row of lamps), Hallowe’en, meaning manufactured event to sell orange-and-black plastic rubbish to children who – in London at least – don’t actually trick or treat anyone – and Guy Fawkes Night. Diwali seemed low-key this year, with fewer firework displays […]

The Season Of Strangeness

London is going through one of its periodic fits of strangeness this month with peculiar new events springing up… Eerie examples of the taxidermist’s art, two-headed teddies, belly dancing classes, a lecture about chloroform…it has to the be Last Tuesday Society, which has added its own creepily decadent shop and gallery in Mare Street, London […]

Nothing Natural About Jan Moir

For years we’ve conveniently turned a blind eye when the Daily Mail publishes hate articles on subjects it thinks its dim suburban readers want to read (I certainly have, having had interviews published by them). So it’s good to see that Jan Moir, who penned an unforgivably disgusting piece on singer Stephen Gately’s untimely demise […]

One Is Highly Amused

The great thing about the theatre is you get in cheap if you’re a pensioner. So when an elderly couple shuffled in late to a production of ‘War Horse’ at the National this week, squeezing past the seated with polite apologies, nobody turned a blind eye. It turned out that the Queen and Prince Phillip […]

Jeremy Clarkson VS Socks

It’ll happen again this Christmas. Millions of people will think ‘What would Dad like? Socks or a book?’ and because they’re not near a Marks & Spencer (if that’s possible in the UK) they’ll drift into a bookstore. There in front of them they’ll see a bewildering array of colourful covers – but wait! This […]

Paging Mr Darwin

26 year-old bank fraudster Maxi Sopo has been caught after he updated his profile on Facebook. He’s been hiding out in Cancun. Although Sopo’s profile was set to Private, his list of friends was not. The FBI was surprised to see that one friend listed an affiliation with the justice department. They sent a message […]

Comics 2:The Funniest British Shows

I find it hard to keep comedy out of the Bryant & May novels, but my sense of humour is very particular. Every decade has produced something wonderful, from Hancock to Python to Peep Show, and I’ve realised that while there were shows I hated (‘The Royle Family’) I best enjoy a surreal mix of […]