Justin Bieber

Things You Don’t Want On The Interweb

Tired of Charlie Sheen clogging up your interweb browsing? Try the new Sheenaway removal system here that blocks all mention of the poor drug-addled babblehead appearing on your ‘puter. Hopefully there will soon also be one that blocks Justin Bieber, and the mentally ill fan who called me a ‘Faggit’ and threatened to kill me […]

You Know You Want One

…to go with your Donnie Osmond Sleepover Vanity Case, your Jedward PJs and your Ricky Schroeder Sponge Bag.

Kill Me Now

Just in case you’ve finished Winston Churchill’s or Nelson Mandela’s biographies, you might like to pick up this hefty tome which tells the inspiring life story of a man who has meant so much to so many people for so many years. (Actually this is Volume 2, the first, ‘Justin: The Unborn Months’ is still […]

Justin Bieber Hits London

Mr Grumpy here says: Can London hit him back? The singing mop is here surrounded by easily-led screaming girls, and makes me realise how easy it is to manipulate the lost, particularly if they’re children. One thing I notice again and again is that the children of very media-savvy directors and writers have very strong […]

The Horror. The Horror.

For a while now I’ve been disappointed with kids. They’re meant to be shocking. They’re meant to outrage us middle-agers. We’re meant to be half-scared/ half-appalled by them. Right now kids should be up in arms, dressing crazily and behaving badly. But instead what happens? Nothing. It’s a crummy time to be a kid from […]