Blogging Officially An Illness.

I was warned this would happen – first it was the odd post, but then you encouraged me. I became – tainted. Soon I was posting several times a day, and that wasn’t enough. I added photos. Then movie clips. Now I’m thinking of camcording and mixtaping. But you can do something. Turn away. Let […]

The World’s Worst Video

The World’s Worst Orchestra

When I was young I had an album by the Portsmouth Sinfonia, a full orchestra of very earnest students, some of whom could play to concert standard, others who couldn’t play at all. They held a now legendary concert that upset classical music buffs across the nation, but I’d forgotten how wonderfully abysmal they sounded […]

The Freakier Films No.2

Despite recent attempts by Hollywood to make Dr Seuss films, no-one has ever bettered this, the only film Dr Seuss himself was involved with (although he had his name removed from it). It’s extremely messed-up, creepy and surreal – just a pity the trailer doesn’t show the rollerskating ginger twins joined together by their beards. […]

The Freakier Films No.1

I haven’t talked here about Creative Partnership, the movie marketing company I co-founded, and probably should do, although it’s kinda hard to know where to begin. Although I’m no longer an active staff member it happily continues in Soho, and I look back on my years there as the best in my life. One of […]

A Walk On The Other Side

On sunny weekends it seems that everyone in London heads for the South Bank to walk along the river. It’s hardly surprising; there’s so much going on. But thanks to new walkways (and places to sit), the North Bank can now be navigated and enjoyed once more, even if it still means diving around a […]

The Movie Hammer Never Made

My pal Graham Humphries is a genius artist and a huge fan of the old Hammer horrors, so he was the perfect guy to create an old-fashioned shape quad poster for the new British movie ‘Lesbian Vampire Killers’. One problem; the poster is so gorgeously styled that the film now has an awful lot to […]

One Day Your Plinth Will Come

Ah yes, the fourth plinth in London’s Trafalgar Square – what to put on it? The obvious answer is another lion, or perhaps a modern-day variant, something more in keeping with our tacky times, like this. Or how about a public pillory for shamed media figures? The possibilities are endless. No, we are to have […]

Closing Time for the Great British Boozer?

A record 2,000 British pubs have closed with the loss of 20,000 jobs since the chancellor, Alistair Darling, increased beer tax in the 2008 budget, new figures published by the British Beer and Pub Association revealed today.In London the situation is particularly severe because pubs occupy prime corner locations and have extensive basements. Quite a […]

The New Bryant & May

I thought I’d posted this – it’s probably lurking in the corners of my site somewhere – it’s the UK cover of ‘Bryant & May On The Loose’, out this summer. The novel is a little longer than usual, as I wanted to check in on all the members of the Peculiar Crimes Unit and […]