The Movie Hammer Never Made

My pal Graham Humphries is a genius artist and a huge fan of the old Hammer horrors, so he was the perfect guy to create an old-fashioned shape quad poster for the new British movie ‘Lesbian Vampire Killers’. One problem; the poster is so gorgeously styled that the film now has an awful lot to […]

One Day Your Plinth Will Come

Ah yes, the fourth plinth in London’s Trafalgar Square – what to put on it? The obvious answer is another lion, or perhaps a modern-day variant, something more in keeping with our tacky times, like this. Or how about a public pillory for shamed media figures? The possibilities are endless. No, we are to have […]

Closing Time for the Great British Boozer?

A record 2,000 British pubs have closed with the loss of 20,000 jobs since the chancellor, Alistair Darling, increased beer tax in the 2008 budget, new figures published by the British Beer and Pub Association revealed today.In London the situation is particularly severe because pubs occupy prime corner locations and have extensive basements. Quite a […]

The New Bryant & May

I thought I’d posted this – it’s probably lurking in the corners of my site somewhere – it’s the UK cover of ‘Bryant & May On The Loose’, out this summer. The novel is a little longer than usual, as I wanted to check in on all the members of the Peculiar Crimes Unit and […]

Now That’s What I Call Action!

Interviewers sometimes ask if it’s difficult putting action into the Bryant & May books, because my leading characters are old. I argue that thanks to CGI, every movie can have stupid action scenes, so it’s not missed – but oh, how I’d love some really cheesy chase sequences if they ever film the books…check out […]

Cards That Tell It Like It Is

This was sent to my partner, but I’m not sure I’d want a friend as honest as this. Makes you dread receiving the rest of the series.

People Have Been Asking Me…

…yes, but what was your father really like? Here are a couple of photos we wanted to use in the hardback of ‘Paperboy’ but I couldn’t find in time for publication. The first is me at Brighton, the other captures my father perfectly – aloof, alone, and the only time I ever saw him photographed […]

London’s Most Secluded Spots

Abney Park Cemetery in Stoke Newington always comes as such a surprise after walking up the high street. The gravestones seemed incongruous in their setting, surrounded by the shops and houses of a North London town. Here, Isaac Newton had once sat composing hymns. Now, only those whose families once held plots from the private […]

Childhood Horrors

It used to be called the Bethnal Green Museum of Childhood, and everyone loved it. Now Mile End’s famous museum is owned by the V&A and – it’s horrible. What went wrong? Clearly, there’s been some confusion. Someone has assumed that ‘Museum of Childhood’ means ‘Museum For Children’ – not the same thing. Instead of […]

London Means Never Having To Say You’re Silly

London Fashion Week finished with a day of menswear. Yes, the current London style of wearing a skin-tight grey cardigan over a check shirt is over. You no longer have to look like an emaciated version of your grand-dad. Instead, choose one of these outfits and be the talk of certain parts of the town […]