One Is Highly Amused

The great thing about the theatre is you get in cheap if you’re a pensioner. So when an elderly couple shuffled in late to a production of ‘War Horse’ at the National this week, squeezing past the seated with polite apologies, nobody turned a blind eye. It turned out that the Queen and Prince Phillip […]

Paging Mr Darwin

26 year-old bank fraudster Maxi Sopo has been caught after he updated his profile on Facebook. He’s been hiding out in Cancun. Although Sopo’s profile was set to Private, his list of friends was not. The FBI was surprised to see that one friend listed an affiliation with the justice department. They sent a message […]

Britain’s Maddest Event

‘Burn him in a tub of tar Burn him like a blazing star Burn his body from his head Then we’ll say old Pope is dead.’ It’s almost time for the most bonkers event in the country…no, not the newly adopted US-style Hallowe’en but Guy Fawkes’ Night, and although there are no urchins on street […]

Coming Back To London

Summer’s end saw me selling my house in France and moving back to London. I’ll miss many things, but one of them won’t be the culture shock of arriving back in King’s Cross. On my last return I bade farewell to my happy, healthy summer pals and dressed in grey once more. I spent several […]

Put On Your Trunk, Let’s Go Swimming

The Daily Beast ran an article today about banning the Speedo – mainly, as far as I could tell, because they’re ubiquitous in Europe, and because they provide ‘too much information’. But a greater peculiarity bothers me – why do they insist on calling it ‘a Speedo’ when we use the plural? Do you say […]

An Eye For The Landscape

Graham Humphreys is one of my oldest friends; we first worked together on posters for the Nightmare On Elm Street series, and his artwork has graced everything from album covers for The Cramps to artwork for The Evil Dead films. The interesting thing I find with artists is not just that they handle their medium […]

Where Your Post Goes

The Guardian has chosen a bad time to celebrate the Royal Mail, running a display of postal posters through the ages. Below is Mr Nicholas Moore, the pie-faced postie who regularly overslept and hid almost 6,000 letters and parcels rather than deliver them. Actually, Moore needed to keep two jobs and was too exhausted to […]

Easily Amused

When I was writing ‘Paperboy’, I referenced of some of the games I remembered playing as a child. I was clearing out the notes today and thinking about how ropey most of these amusements were, from the Pelham puppets which all looked like the same puppet in different clothes, to the ink-stained frustration that was […]

The Future Isn’t What It Used To Be

When I was a child we heard plenty of talk about jet packs, spray-on clothes, travel to distant planets and thousands of television channels all showing stuff as interesting as our our two then-excellent networks. But the future has been a bit of a let-down. I mean, it’s nice that the Indian space mission has […]

Dumb & Dumber

I don’t usually post silly true stuff but these are too good to miss.