We Need A Collective Noun For Film Critics


‘An exit of film critics’? ‘A pretence of film critics’? ‘A sneer of film critics’? Judging by the latest poll of the best 100 films of the 21st century according to 177 film critics it should probably be ‘a wankfest of film critics’. Film polls are notoriously subjective, of course, but dear God in Heaven, […]

Whimsy: The Marmite Film Genre


There’s a certain type of Marmite movie I sneakingly love. It would have been the kind of movie I hated at 18, when I just wanted to watch cars explode and heads get cut off. It’s the whimsical movie, best exemplified by ‘Le Fabuleux Destin D’Amelie Poulin’, or as it was called in the US, […]

Charles Wood, The Great Experimentalist


As Roger pointed out in Comments Section yesterday, Charles Wood had another problem as a writer – his plays were expensive to stage, which was fine when the UK put huge amounts of money into brave original theatre works but no good for modern times. Even when Wood worked on a traditional subject he still […]

Film Review: The Neon Demon


Nicolas Winding Rein may just be winding us up. ‘The Neon Demon’ feels like a companion piece to ‘Black Swan’ – neurotic women, gorgeous visuals, surreal bloody mayhem – but is it any good? Well, two-thirds of it is terrific, and even the last third is just about forgivable. The story is as old as […]

Another Film That Didn’t Make My Top Ten List


It should have made the top ten. ‘The Producers’ is a touchstone film for me. I saw it when it came out at the cinema in a double bill with ‘Where’s Poppa?’ (or possibly ‘Kentucky Fried Movie’). The plot; terminally nervous accountant Gene Wilder attempts to do the books of sleazy theatrical agent Zero Mostel, […]

‘Victoria’ Puts Right What Hollywood Gets So Wrong


If there was ever a film that revealed the growing gap between an increasingly isolated, risk-averse and irrelevant Hollywood and the rest of the world, it’s ‘Victoria’. Sebastian Schipper’s real-time movie is a total triumph, but you wouldn’t think so to read some of the reviews. The plot is simplicity itself. A young Spanish girl […]

Films That Didn’t Make My Top 10 List


Choosing ten desert island films for my upcoming event at London’s wonderful Cinema Museum on May 14th (a few tickets still available) has been a nightmare, mainly because I change my mind every ten seconds. (Is it only guys who love making lists?) I finally decided to limit my choice to ten films that directly […]

A Few Of My Favourite (Deadly) Things


‘So, I guess you think a lot about killing people,’ said the customs officer as he went through my bag yesterday. I’d told him I was a writer because I was trying to explain why I had four copies of the same book in my bag. And I suppose I do think about murder rather […]

Toward A Ballardian Future


The problem with J G Ballard, from a filmmaker’s perspective, is that he does not tell stories. He suggests futures and new psychologies. His characters are ciphers, his plots are liminal and his prose is exquisite, none of which makes him easy to adapt. Spielberg made a fine job of ‘Empire Of The Sun’, although […]

Finally, A Fairytale With Teeth


Last year I planned to write a  book of strange fairytale variations, having been commissioned to write such a tale for a new collection, which I enjoyed immensely. After suffering through Kenneth Branagh’s ghastly ‘Cinderella’ for research purposes my intention was to return to the roots of tales and darken them, keeping the strange logic […]