Title

A Further Reduction To Your Services

Christopher Fowler
Captain's bridge here. Supply chain problems are causing gaps in your regular blog service, I'm afraid. Thanks to an unexpected downturn in productivity (inflammation of the liver requiring a complex new drug regime) three jokes a page are being rationed to two, the cost of sarcasm has risen prohibitively and a number of less familiar writers' tools like litotes and zeugma will be unavailable until further notice. Complex analogies, obscure references to the past and so-called British 'zeitgeist' satire are all cancelled until further notice. There are several causes for this, including the intractability of the railway unions, Jacob Rees-Mogg and The Death Of Common Sense. So yeah, there's that. I've not been able to walk further than the kitchen for a week, although staying in is no big hardship in our very own Glass Onion, which makes it feel like I'm outside anyway. We didn't need to put a TV on to see and hear the NYE celebrations, just look out of the window - although I had fallen asleep by the time they started. Am I depressed by this limiting of my lifestyle? I'm more depressed by the limiting of my life. I have, of course, set myself goals but these are rapidly shrinking from 'Get on plane to Costa Rica' to 'Try not to fall over again'. I now realise that Goal Five, 'Write new novel', was ambitious, and not helped by the problem of illness-induced malapropisms that lead me to into a state of severe declension. All I can promise from here on in is that I will try to continue for as long as possible, even if the blogs appear rather haphazardly. A happy New Year to all my readers!  
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MartinT (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 13:46

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Heroic that you can produce such lovely stuff under the circs. Applause Applause.
Here's to haphazard blogging. Best wishes

BarbaraBoucke (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 13:58

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Well spoken, Martin T. There's nothing the matter with haphazard blogging. Happy New Year Mr. Fowler to you and to The Husband.

Ace (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 14:27

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Bated breath. And not what comes from eating pilchards (or a midday meal in some precincts). The important thing here is to conserve your strength and the bons mots. You've spoiled us quite enough. We'll talk amongst ourselves --- or to ourselves --- in the meantime. You are a remarkable testament to the human spirit. Share what you can of it, when you can.

Vic (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 17:26

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

We follow your blog, read your books. We tell others they should also. We are deeply moved by your commitments to us your followers. Above all we are in awe of your strength and determination to continue under such circumstances. You are truly inspirational.

Philip Hazell (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 18:09

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Well...if you haven't got it/read it.... Get your other half to pick up the latest Viz Christmas annual. Maybe some toilet humour to make you smile/laugh...??!

Peter T (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 18:32

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

What Martin wrote, 1000 times.

Ian Mason (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 18:58

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Christopher dear boy, are you trying to say that zeugma is tired and so are you?

I take it you're not feeling up to any conjugation then?

I'll get my coat.

Joel (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 19:17

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

random zingers and notes are way better than no zingers and notes...i just took a count...i have more people i know/in my life who are fairly close to the final kick off than ever before in my life...obviously what happens if you make it to 51, and the situation probably won't improve...unless i stop making new friends, and that's just stupid...so, thanks for the continuing window into a writers life and looming demise...it really helps me with my own circumstances...truly

Stephen Groves (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 19:59

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

If it helps you ,do it .
If it makes you happy, do it .
If it tastes of chocolate.eat it.
If it comes with a beer, keep doing it .

All best
STALKY

Roger (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 20:04

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Keep going Chris, keep going.
Years ago when I realised that my falling days had begun, I resolved to reduce my goals from ‘Try not to fall over again’ to ‘Try not to damage yourself badly when you fall over again’.

Joan (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 20:07

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

We’ll take whatever you give us Chris, and whenever, and still be happy. I check in every day to read comments, and smile.

Gary Hart (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 20:33

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

I'm with you Joan. Every day another little smile.

Wayne Mook (not verified) Fri, 06/01/2023 - 21:35

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Whatever, whenever, however will be more then enough. You've already given so much.

Malapropisms have their uses; if your props is mala-djusted tell it's an experimental comic novel called Telemachus, AKA Ulysses II with more jokes.

More strength to your good self.

I meant to say I saw 2 copies of Hot Water in a local bookshop and put them in a more prominent place. One does what one can.

Little things can get you through like taking it with a little less water, if anyone asks tell it's increases the antiseptic properties. It being the spirit of your choice.

I have a bottle of Carob liqueur, after I polish of the last of the mulled wine I'll think I'll have a crack at it. I know I should stay away from odd drink and food but I can't help it, after all the Christmas fair was a tad dull this year, very nice but nothing like the chocolate-dipped tortillas, talking of which what did I see in the shops yesterday? M&S had valentine chocolates (I love ewe, sheep and heart chocolates) and Easter eggs (there is a chocolate space shuttle or a space eggsplorer - but I do have my eye on the golden blond chocolate and pistachio egg – a caramelised Swiss white chocolate shell studded with roasted, salted pistachio and with Belgian milk chocolate mini eggs filled with a pistachio caramel.) At this rate I won't be able to see my feet come summer.

Wayne.

SteveB (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 00:10

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Another plus one to what MartinT said.
Really appreciate the continuing blog entries.
I’ll add that ambition is a good thing even if it’s unrealistic.
Take care.

Jo W (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 07:13

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Hear, hear to all the commenters! Some good advice there especially from Roger and Stalky.
I’ll still be checking in everyday anyway, there always seems to be a new comment to read or the start of a new tangent to follow…

Btw hot cross buns on sale in Sainsbugs two days ago so Happy Easter all! Love ‘n’hugs, Chris ‘n’ Pete xx

Helen+Martin (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 07:48

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

I have just finished a Canadian mystery titled "Mindful of Murder". Being aware of what is in your present takes nearly as much energy as rushing about from place to place and yields at least as much wisdom. If being aware gives you a laugh so much the better. Enjoy what is, Chris. And peace to Pete.

Cornelia Appleyard (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 10:46

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Looking forward to every blog, however haphazard.
Take care of yourselves.

Martin Tolley (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 12:22

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

In my view your blogs have always been haphazard - in the sense of being quirky, unpredictable, tangential, a bit of this followed by a bit of that. Always thoughtful and sometimes opinionated (in a good way). And most of them followed by comments from folk which are likewise haphazard - quirky, unpredictable, tangential.... etc. This place is a delight, which is why we keep coming back.
Be as well as you can.

SteveN (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 12:47

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Cleveland, Ohio sends its best.

Ace (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 13:38

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Wayne --- With all that sugar in your system, weight gain would be the least of your problems. My glucose must have gone up several units just reading about your confectionary plans.

Mish (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 14:35

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

I hope your days are as good as possible and that unexpected smiles come your way.
Sending good thoughts to you (for what they are worth).

davem (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 16:14

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Thanks for posting Chris

davem (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 16:14

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Thanks for posting Chris

Kim T (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 16:42

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

What Mish said—all the way! You have inspired so many, Mr. Fowler, and you continue to inspire through your generosity and sweet spirit. Your writing has changed me for the better and I thank you. Peace and love to you and your husband.

Robert Low (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 18:41

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts with us in the face of adversity. A Happy New Year to you too.

Corina (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 20:39

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Looking forward to your wonderful blogs no matter how small they are! I wish you and your husband a Happy New Year with health, strength and success! Your books are amazing and a real gift to us, your readers! Thank you and may you write many more!

Mike (not verified) Sat, 07/01/2023 - 21:55

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Best of wishes to you both. I want to keep reading your blog ad infinitum

Helen+Martin (not verified) Sun, 08/01/2023 - 17:33

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

What was it Buzz Lightyear said in Toy Story? "To infinity and beyond!"
Jo W, it's bad enough they want to start Christmas selling before Hallowe'en is over but now they want to push Easter before Christmas is properly over. Mind you, I heard an interview from Louisiana wishing everyone a good Kings' Day - very proper for Twelfth Night - and saying that Mardi Gras begins now and runs to the beginning of Lent. That must be the longest Tuesday on record.

Brooke (not verified) Sun, 08/01/2023 - 18:43

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Helen and Jo W: So I'm not the only one feeling as though I'm in a time warp. It's only the second week of the new year but stores have both Valentine's Day and Easter candies--on sale, BOGO.

Listening to Reith Lectures on Roosevelt's Four Freedoms Speech. When Rowan Williams was asked how we should what freedom he would add, he replied, "Freedom from consumerism." Amen to that.

Roger (not verified) Sun, 08/01/2023 - 20:35

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

There does seem to be general confusion - about three or four months ago hot cross buns and mince pies were on sale together in my local Waitrose.

Ace (not verified) Sun, 08/01/2023 - 22:42

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Why Roger --- didn't you get the government missive ? Life these days is to be one festive occasion after the other. And depending on the particular surplus, one or another are to be repeated until any overabundance of say, tinsel and hot cross buns is sufficiently depleted. Part of a new economic model to distract from the shortages of critical goods -- also known in some quarters as the "Marie Antoinette Plan," You know, she who is said to have helpfully suggested, 'Let them eat mince pies.'

Hazel Jackson (not verified) Mon, 09/01/2023 - 00:03

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

So long as you continue to write, I shall continue to read, and be grateful. Hang in there.

Jane-Beth Brown (not verified) Mon, 09/01/2023 - 10:53

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Thank you for educating and entertaining us over the years.

Anna-Maria Covich (not verified) Mon, 09/01/2023 - 16:02

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

And yet, even as ill as you are, you manage to not only write more blog in a month than I have managed in over a year, and you do it darned well.
But then, you do have so much practice. I suppose I really need to get my s*&^ together one of these days if I ever hope to get even remotely worthy of being read.

Derek Whyte (not verified) Fri, 13/01/2023 - 20:32

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Am writing this from Northern Ireland in a state of despair at local politics as well as the circus show that uK national politics has become. Ana still depressed at the loss of my parents over the past two years. Your books & your blog remain a welcome solace & a window into a mind and a world where humanity, urbanity& wit remain virtues. My love and admiration to you and your partner as you face the future together. And thank you for being you. Derek