Brexit: Heading For The Life-Rafts

Great Britain

As the SS Great Britain heads Titanic-like for the iceberg of a No-Deal Brexit, everyone wants answers as to how we got into this mess. We all know the short answer; David Cameron traded a referendum for favours, and although he told CNN he believes Britain has “taken the wrong course” in opting to leave the European Union, he says he doesn’t regret forcing it on us. This kind of doublethink exists exclusively among bad politicians, and Cameron is being generally referred to as ‘Britain’s worst-ever prime minister’. Self-interest, poor education and blatant lies drove the country’s voting.

Whichever side you’re on in the Brexit debate, it’s impossible not to see that the nation was tricked by an outright lie painted on a bus side. If there was another referendum (which there won’t be) the results would favour remaining in Europe and keeping hold of more than 750 trade agreements which have taken so many years to lock into place.

But, by placing emphasis on racial divides, nostalgia for the Second World War and the idea that some of the most neglected parts of the country, which are among the most heavily EU-subsidised, will magically blossom new industries, the nays had it. Nigel ‘Quisling’ Farage crept around Trump but failed to secure any desperately-begged respect. Boris ‘Bozo’ Johnson offered to build a bridge to mainland Ireland and had to have it pointed out to him by structural engineers that this was a ludicrously impossible idea (like all of his others).

When Johnson was the Mayor of London, he was accused of public health fraud for ordering the use of so-called dust suppressants to keep down pollution where official monitoring was being carried out, in order to avoid losing millions in EU fines.

Worst of all, Jacob ‘Lord Snooty’ Rees-Mogg, the God-bothering high Tory who doesn’t understand why people wear jeans, launched plans to send us further back than the 1940s, possibly to the 1840s. Snooty’s father was a Baron and a crossbencher who co-wrote this book about how to make a financial killing from the suffering of others.

Meanwhile, Bozo’s famous quotes include; ‘Orientals…have larger brains and higher IQ scores. Blacks are at the other pole’, referred to black children as ‘piccaninnies’ and said that female students go to university because they have got to find men to marry. Which just leaves us with Farage, who has never uttered an intelligent sentence, and the Great British Public, many of whom are at a loss to articulate their voting decisions. The people who voted to call a ship ‘Boaty McBoatface’ wanted Muslims out, not noticing that they don’t generally come from Luxembourg. Meanwhile the Labour leader, Jeremy ‘Catweazle’ Corbyn, failed to attend one of the biggest-ever protest rallies through London last week because he was in Switzerland meeting the president of Chile.

Brexit will take years to implement, by which time most Leavers will be dead. So let’s accept it and move on. What will a last-minute deal (the most likely outcome) mean in reality? Higher prices, lower pound value, the end of subsidies for already hard-hit rural areas, the increase of poverty, worsening infrastructure and quality of life. Let’s not even consider a No-Deal situation. And the gain? Well, the French will get to print our new passports. Even that staunch Brexiter Sir James Dyson, who has clearly read the above book, is hypocritically moving his factories to, er, Singapore. London taxis are to be built in China. France’s president, Macron, has been flying out the City’s captains of industry and trying to convince them to move to Paris as he fish-eyes the London Stock Exchange.

The first immediate effect we’ll all feel will be the cancellation of the EHIC, the little card we carry that allows us free hospital treatment in every EU country. Mine runs out the very week of Brexit. A sign of how little people understood what they were voting for can be gleaned by listening to the rabid views of ex-pats living in Europe who somehow voted themselves out.

In a way this perfect storm is the final step in the decline and fall of the British Empire, to be picked over by vultures and dumped at the side of the road. We have become a ministerial kleptocracy, with a populace chastened by a mass hallucination. Greed and stupidity are once more in ascendency, and it’s up to the young to jump-start something genuinely fresh and innovative that will allow a basically good and decent populace to hold its collective head high again.

20 comments on “Brexit: Heading For The Life-Rafts”

  1. ross says:

    My god…What whiny, self-serving propaganda. Pathetic.

  2. Patrick Kilgallon says:

    The aspect of the Brexit vote that infuriates me, and the aspect that seems to have been completely ignored by everyone, is that Cameron and his Government set no thresholds for the vote. As a result we have had a fundamental change made to our Constitution (albeit an unwritten Constitution) by only 37% of the voting population of the UK. There should have been a requirement for a two thirds majority of the voting population to agree any such change. Even the USA has a better process for making changes to their Constitution.

  3. Helen Martin says:

    Not being in either Britain or the US I’m not really in a position to give advice and “Keep calm and carry on” doesn’t seem to cut it. If it weren’t so easy for people like Mr Dyson (can they take back his knighthood?) to relocate it might be easier to see light at the end but I really think it’s an oncoming freight train. It’s really frightening and you wish there were ways to strip the liars of their assets and prevent them from profiting from it all as they are certainly going to try.

  4. admin says:

    Only one leaver, that’s a bit disappointing. But what a cogent, well-reasoned polemic, sir! Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Ross. I rest my case.

  5. Rob C says:

    Patrick, That’s because it was an advisory referendum. It’s just that the Tories put in their manifesto that they would enact the result. Making it ‘legal’ .

  6. Rob C says:

    PS, I’m a remainder, and as an EU Civil Servant have a dog in the fight. So, I’m off to NL clutching my nice new Dutch Diplomatic ID Card 🙂

  7. Peter Tromans says:

    I have had a significant amount of professional interaction with the European Commission. I have spent a large fraction of my life in other European countries. I have a very poor opinion of the Commission and consider the Euro a totally dangerous and incompetent invention. Contrary to what I believe is the general impression in the UK, many continental Europeans are also very unhappy with ‘Europe’.

    In spite of all that, I honestly believe we should remain. The only basis for an out vote was indeed ‘pathetic, whiny, self-serving propaganda’ spread by self-serving individuals who don’t give a toss for the British public.

  8. Vivienne says:

    I was on the march on Saturday, what else could I do? Brexit is a madness, a potential disaster. And May is saying my deal or no deal: as if she is a supreme leader. She was not elected except by default as head of the Toriies she does not have her cabinet or her party totally behind her, so what right does she have to make this enormous decision on her own, using the will of the people argument when it is entirely possible that that will has changed.

  9. Martin Tolley says:

    There are lots of we remainers and we had a pretty good time last Saturday, much good that’ll do us. I bet if the vote had gone 48 to 52 the other way there’d have been massive shouts for a re-count.
    How on earth could anyone think that something supported by Gove, Bojo, Dunking-Smiff and Farargo would in ANY WAY whatever be a good thing?
    Stockpiling my hypertension medication and filling the larder with tinned veg of all descriptions.

  10. Roger says:

    I agree, Peter Tromans.
    Whether the UK is in or out of the EU it will still have enormous effects on the UK and require UK subvention. If the UK is in it, at least it can affect the EU’s decisions.

  11. Bruce Rockwood says:

    As my grandchildren are in Edinburgh I’d prefer Britain to come to its senses and have a new referendum, or have Scotland to leave the UK and rejoin the EU. Then again I’d prefer not to have trump and his fools running the U.S. into the ground. Idiocy is contagious.

  12. admin says:

    Today the UK has been found – again – in serious breach of EU air quality rules. What will happen next year, I wonder?

  13. André Fomferek says:

    To my mind – as a european living on the continent – there have been lots of mistakes on both sides.
    I don´t want to dispute your statement about the major brexiteers, and yet the same kind of politician, shamelessly lying to rally the masses against “the EU as the root of all our problems” has appeared all over europe, without anything as drastic as the brexit happening elsewhere. In germany, for many years it has been a popular tactic of politicians to blame the EU for every stupid and even quite a few not-so-stupid-but-hard-to-understand decisions ever made by any politician anywhere – even when, in reality, the same politicians had beforehand influenced the EU to MAKE said – decisions, and yet, as far as I can see, for the overwhelming majority it has never been in doubt that staying in the EU is in everyones best interest. So, in essence, I don´t think the british politicians should carry the blame alone.

    I understand that the EU can´t afford to let itself be “blackmailed” – sorry, that term is probably to strong, I just don´t know any better term in the english language -, or other countries would swiftly have followed the british example, and yet the moment the EU realized that a majority of british voters might really decide to take their country out of the EU, we should at least have tried to renegotiate the british status inside the EU instead of watching this mistake happen. And maybe we should have explained better what the EU really does. Watching the britain debate from a distance, I can´t help but think that quite a few of the voters never really understood that the EU is not some faceless distant bureaucratic monster, but simply a union of the different states where even today most decisions are made by the same politicians that rule the various member states. So, maybe someone should have explained to the voters that instead of leaving the EU and trying to shield themselves from the world outside, they might be better of using their right to vote to influence the EU policy.

    And today, I fear, this whole brexit mess has succeeded in creating a somewhat poisoned atmosphere between countries and people that for their own sake will simply need to work together in the future. And of course instead of trying to bridge the gap, there´s german know-it-all newspapers, commenting on everything with a more or less subtle schadenfreude, there´s european towns that hope to lure the british industry to the continent etc.. All in all, a really sad and frightening state of affairs.

  14. Ken Mann says:

    Since the march I have been assured that all the marchers were “neoliberals” and that all the marchers were “foreigners”. I’m still trying to work out which of those is more ridiculous.

  15. Helen Martin says:

    It seemed to me that there were too many voters who didn’t want to lose their sausages (when some forms were being classed as unfit food) or having to accept other people’s strange food or losing their jobs because of foreigners working cheap (mostly at jobs Britons didn’t want). These are all things which are more acceptable sometimes on the Continent because the flow of people there is easier. The sceptered isle is girded by the sea so strangers arrive more slowly. Piled up on the edge at Calais, isn’t it?
    Nobody likes change, but this change is going to create so many problems over the short haul that adaptation is going to be difficult. I have never understood why the Brexit advocates wanted that. My husband suggests that they don’t like being little frogs in big ponds. I agree about making changes from inside an organization rather than carping from outside.

  16. Jan says:

    Glad I’m still in Australia!

    What i find interesting (whichever side your are on in this debate/debacle ) concerns the circumstances surrounding this referendum.

    Cameron felt very safe offerring this referendum to the British public when he went into the last election as apparently all the numbers read in such a way that Cameron believed he would still be in a pact with the LIB DEMS. As he felt this to be the case – and Clegg had publicly asserted he would allow no such referendum to take place as it was an outrageous waste of public funds – Cameron felt safe making the offer of a vote he knew would in all likelihood never take place.

    Of course Clegg was not in a position to call the whole thing off!

    Cameron almost purely by accident had let a great number of disgruntled people voice their not altogether justified unhappiness at having joined a “common market” almost fifty years ago now finding themselves part of the proto federal state of Europe. There were also numerous other factors in play which won’t go into here. The rest as they say is history. Or will be. I tell you what we won’t be the last out of the door if no changes to the EU are made The whole European project must be being rethought at this present time. Thing is we have opted out of being part of the next phase of Europe’s development. Which may or may not be a good thing. Who really knows?

    One very very interesting comment was made by a guy I am travelling with the other day who told me he firmly believed that no one over 60 should have been allowed to vote in the referendum as this is a subject that really will only impact on younger generations. I was gobsmacked by that (This gent is by the way a grandfather in his sixties) now I found THAT an interesting point of view.

  17. Jan says:

    By the way Sir Christopher of Fowler your timing clock is even further out than usual its about 2330 here. Hope alls well… whiny old self serving propagandist you.

    Tell you what IS very comical the amount of relatively well heeled folks (many with properties within Europe) who have suddenly discovered a relative close enough for applications for an EU passport to be made. The Irish Embassy in the UK are considering taking on extra staff.

    Begorrah this Brexits an amazing thing – who would have believed it?

  18. Jan says:

    Gr8 comment by Andre Fomferek by the way. Not in total agreement – but best reasoned argument I have heard put forward for ages on this topic.

    Night night.

  19. Ian Luck says:

    Months ago, I left a message for a friend saying that ‘Brexit’ was a longing by some people to go back to those happy, carefree days of the Britain of 1946. I was joking, of course. But I spoke to him the other day, and he told me that he wasn’t looking forwards to life after ‘Brexit’. At all. I voted remain, along with people like Stephen Fry, and the late, very great Professor Stephen Hawking. A large part of that was because I had a feeling that the whole thing would end up an unpredictable bloody mess, that, if translated into a 3D object, would resemble a ball of wool, after the cat has been at it. It can be unravelled, and made into a ball again eventually. But nobody hold their breath.

  20. Antony brown says:

    Like any political decision I would say that there were serious arguments on both sides of the debate. Although I voted remain it does have to be acknowledged that the EU seems to have a kind of neo-capitalist outlook. It seems to be more pro bank than pro people. Privatisation of state assets is not always the best or most equitable course of action. The treatment of the Greek situation seemed to me to be an exercise in bailing out banks rather than ordinary Greeks. Also there is no getting round the fact that for a lot of British people immigration became too high, I never considered myself to be prejudiced but I moved out of an area of East London as I felt excluded by the community around me, though as is paradoxical this was immigration from Pakistan and Bangladesh not from within the EU. As a card carrying atheist I feel very uneasy as how religious beliefs are given special status, it has taken generations to form a modern democracy if people are then fixed into closed communities then for me social fabrics begin to fray!

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