Going Where The Sun Shines Brightly…

Observatory

…although I might as well stay in London, which has started to resemble the ending of ‘The Day the Earth Caught Fire’. It’s well worth watching that film again, BTW, it’s barely SF at all, more about the workings of old Fleet Street, because it was written by a newspaperman. I once met the film’s star, Edward Judd, but that’s another story…

That’s what the heat does, you see. It makes one veer off course. And I’m veering off course, leaving ‘formerly seedy’ King’s Cross (see above) and heading to a villa in the Mallorcan hills with a group of old friends, where we shall no doubt have terribly English middle class conversations about finding good schools, gardening and a political system than can produce something as utterly pointless as Jacob Rees-Mogg. I’m only going for a week, mind, because then I’m returning to Barcelona to start revisions on my EPIC non-fantasy novel.

AGENT: If it’s not a fantasy, what is it?

ME: It’s a creative imagining.

AGENT: Oh.

The rough draft is tipping in at 500+ pages so it will have to come down in length, and I need to radically simplify the language, which is stuffed to the gills with rare phrases, words and allusions. ‘Too clever by half’, as my old teacher used to warn me. While readers of this blog may nod at certain polysyllabic words with wise understanding, the majority stares with its collective mouth hanging open before dismissing the book with an utterance of ‘Wanker’.

I’ve already arrived in Palma, which at least has cleaned itself up a lot since I was last here, although jumbo cruise ships intent on destroying Europe are in the port and a billion tourists are queueing in H&M. I’ll get myself to the hills asap as I don’t want to linger in what is essentially a huge retail opportunity of a town.

So ‘Au reservoir’ as they say in Risholme (lit. allusion there) and I warn you now that depending on the state of the broadband in the hills posting may be a little irregular. As, indeed, is this blog. Enjoy the sun wherever you are!

14 comments on “Going Where The Sun Shines Brightly…”

  1. Jan says:

    I actually found a very direct monosyllabic description of yourself and your scholarly vocabulary when you described the chugging noise of a London cab as “burdon” I think it was….

    Think it was a bit of a burdon to your unhappy library book reader
    (not me honest guvnor)

  2. Tom Callaghan says:

    ”Au reservoir’? Are you Mapp or Lucia? Obviously not Georgie…

  3. Ian Luck says:

    I’m glad that it’s not just me that considers Jacob Rees-Mogg an empty- headed, braying toff of the very worst kind, using valuable oxygen that far less unpleasant people could benefit from. In short, the man is an utter c

  4. Peter Tromans says:

    ‘which is stuffed to the gills with rare phrases, words and allusions’ sounds like Umberto Eco. Sell by the million and read by …. ? Anyway, I hope it’s a success and you make enough cash to at least buy your own reservoir.

  5. Jo W says:

    Enjoy your your break in the hills.I hope it’s not as HOT as London was today. We had a long standing meet up and pub crawl with rellys today. Phew.glad to get home,but now melting as house has been closed up all day. Ooooh sorry, just wiped a drop of sweat off the keyboard there, wipe,swish.
    ‘Im indoors says we’ll complain when it’s cool and raining. IF ONLY!

  6. Wayne Mook says:

    And Mogg called his youngest – Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher Rees-Mogg.

    I wonder if he’ll go and follow his business to Ireland, I’m English but my moneys European.

    Sorry that person does get my goat.

    Have a wonderful break and good luck with the epic.

    Wayne.

  7. Wayne (yes, another one) says:

    Enjoy your time away.

    My mother said to me the other day “I haven’t seen grass this colour since 1976” it was very Victoria Wood and gave us a chuckle. She was of course referring to the yellow dry grass that is everywhere at the moment as it hasn’t rained here for six weeks.

    Is a 500 page book so unusual? I’ve read a few Steven King books that run to twice that number. So maybe your non-fantasy won’t need too much trimming.

  8. Denise Treadwell says:

    I think something nice to drink , something nice to eat , old friends and sun can’t hurt!

  9. Gary Hart says:

    “While readers of this blog may nod at certain polysyllabic words with wise understanding, the majority stares with its collective mouth hanging open before dismissing the book with an utterance of ‘Wanker’.”

    What a pity then that the readers of this blog couldn’t just sneak a peek at the big word version? Maybe?

  10. SteveB says:

    I loved the original TV series of Mapp and Lucia, best thing ever.
    EF Benson also famous ghost story writer of course

  11. Helen Martin says:

    The gentleman is definitely swave and de-boner as we said in my youth. And here is the real holiday it seems. Good on you and enjoy!
    I enjoyed Mapp and Lucia, too, and a friend gave me a copy of the whole thing, complete with a map (not Mapp) of the town. The husband ran from the room as he could not abide the accents.

    (Hey Jan, really looking forward to Wed, eh? Although Tuesday should be good. I was high fiving a lady in the hairdresser’s just after Belgium’s game and she wanted to know why I’d been cheering Belgium. “Oh, you know”, I said, “plucky little Belgium and all that.” I don’t think she got the reference.)

  12. Denise Treadwell says:

    I have all the books by E F Benson. Very witty and I miss his wit!

  13. Ken Mann says:

    Now trying to remember a fantasy novel which deliberately used antique vocabulary incorrectly, ie what does this word sound as though it might be rather than its true definition. A one-off from someone who usually writes SF I think. Dammit.

  14. Ian Luck says:

    Ken – are you thinking of ‘Feersum Enjinn’, by Ian M. Banks? It’s written phonetically, and, I believe, in some parts, in Pidgin English.

Comments are closed.

Posted In