What Will Happen In Ye Olde Post-Brexit Englande?
The return of Bob Danvers Walker announcing things.
‘Great British Bake Off’ to feature at least one jam roly-poly every week.
The words of Cliff Richard’s song revised to ‘We’re all going on a summer holiday until July 2016, after which we’ll be going to Bognor.’
Nigel Farridge plays own puppet on all-new Spitting Image. You know, a ‘proper job’.
Daily Telegraph memorial issue in which they supported Hitler to be reprinted.
Return of ‘Love Thy Neighbour’.
Unemployed Boris Johnson to return to ‘bridge-building’ (McDonald’s Garden Bridge)
More rain, because you know, British. And Pacamacs, 6d each.
Donald Trump to discover Welsh roots.
Return of films in which British actors black up to play Indians.
Immediate repatriation of ‘ten-foot-Pole’ they’ve heard most people wouldn’t touch Corbyn with.
‘Eurotrash’ to be reclassified as a drama series.
Gas meters, ‘Push Button A’ phone boxes and polio. And Billy Cotton’s Bandstand.
A ban on those ironic Ladybird books and a return to proper subjects, like housework.
Doctors who smoke.
National Whack-A-Pole Day.
Vera Lynn. Still around, a sprightly 99.
The word ‘Quisling’ to be replaced by ‘Gove’.