The Home Store From Hell
As you know I enjoy the peculiar shops of the Eastern bloc, but they aren’t the only strange sellers of tat to be found in the world, as this North African store testifies. First of all, it’s vast, and there’s nothing at all in it that any sane westerner would want in their home. Floor upon floor filled with thrones, dead animals, gigantic out-of-proportion coffee tables twenty feet or so long, one section is entered through a medieval tent guarded by suits of armour.
Here we find the ‘Alien’ suite of dining room tables and chairs. There are also stools and counters made of alien bones and razor-sharp bits of creatures from other planets, along with Transformer-type things and retro-robots. It couldn’t even be kindly classed as steampunk, but it’s all very well made.
Some of the dead-eyed nightmare-sofas are carved out of actual animal bones, camel mostly, and there are alien skull ashtrays, always a delight for the home that wants a/ terrifying alien heads and b/ ashtrays of any sort around the kiddies. HR Giger and Ridley Scott have clearly not been here with their shopping baskets.
But there were other, gentler giant carved animals available too, like these nightmarish horses. There were hippos and crocodiles, and who wouldn’t say yes to a lovely brass half-life-size elephant in their living room?
The weirdest part of all was that the store was obviously expecting a rush on these items, because its ground floor had shopping trolleys, dozens of them, and FIVE conveyor belt checkouts manned by bored staff who had nothing to do, because there were no customers at all, not one. If you imagine a giant Sainsburys filled with this stuff on three floors, you’re partway there. And you think I make my stories up. Nope, it’s all available out there, somewhere in the world.