‘Welcome’ To Britain

Great Britain

News that the immigration restrictions for Eastern Europe are about to be lifted has encouraged the government to think about running anti-British ads warning that arrivals might not find it all to their liking. The Guardian is running some sent in by readers – how the British love to diss themselves! Here are a few that appeared today.

come here thinking-englanduk-yukSurprisingly, there’s a precedent for this. Some years back Eurostar ran a clever poster in Belgium that wrapped around a wall. One side showed tea being poured into a cup, or so you thought.

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10 comments on “‘Welcome’ To Britain”

  1. Stephen Groves says:

    Hi Chris ,

    Just tell them that they will have to watch that poor excuse for a entertainment show staring Tom Daily SPLASH ,were z list celebritys jump into a swimming pool and show it to them on a continueing loop , that should make them think again .

    I say drain the pool and call it SPLAT !

    All best
    STALKY

  2. nice Dan Terrell says:

    I’m just having a cup of blood orange tea this morning for a change.

  3. Bob Low says:

    The ”Thinking About Living In England?” piece is a hoot-it could only be improved by the addition , below the picture of Gove,of the words:-”….and in a couple of years, he’s going to be in charge.”,accompanied by a picture of Ed/David Milliband (delete as applicable) clutching a banana. That’ll have them flocking to our shores.

  4. Dan Terrell says:

    I’m just having a cup of blood orange tea this morning for a change. (Retyped because a “nice” slipped into the Name rectangle in my original comment creating a new account. Probably the shock of seeing the non-traditional tea service.)

  5. Alan G says:

    I am inclined to agree with the impending panic. I mean – we’re going to have entire countries moving here en masse. This must not be tolerated – I for one have my swords sharp and ready just in case a small town decides to set up in my hall cupboard.

    Then again – if they want to clean my bathroom, dust my shelves, cook me interesting food and leave my kitchen sparkling clean afterwards for next to no money I may reconsider…

    Just as long as they don’t ask for their fare home when they see that this Great Britain is not quite what they expected.

  6. Helen Martin says:

    And there is the new test you have to take with all the history, arts and culture questions.

  7. Dan Terrell says:

    After years, we may be able to legally add 11,000,00 underground immigrants to our “official” population. This is a very good thing since people can get ahead, have a better life. Obama may be on a roll.
    There is, however, the problem that eventually there will be a lot unlovely jobs with no person so unqualified they must do these jobs.
    There is a fortune to be made in inventing pop up and out beets, onions, potatoes, and carrots, etc., plus tree-picked fruit literally and, of course, self-cleaning public bathrooms. Ideas anyone? The field’s wide open.

  8. Helen Martin says:

    As far as public bathrooms go there are these self-cleaning ones now, but every once in a while the doors jam. There was quite an incident around one in Vancouver. Someone was trapped in the toilet and people were trying to help but the person spoke only Chinese. A Chinese speaker came along and the advice was translated and called in. Eventually something worked and the trapped person came out to the applause of the crowd. It’s a good thing the cleaning mechanism hadn’t activated because there is some sort of cleaning fluid that gushes over all the surfaces to leave everything spandy nice.

  9. Dan Terrell says:

    Would….. Would that…. Would a reporter…. No, I mustn’t. It’s way low, probably unfair, and the incident involved a person who didn’t speak English.
    Oh, I can’t help it. Someone’s got to snark this baby.
    TV Reporter: “In Vancouver today, a public bathroom nearly turned into a Chinese laundry. Details with film later in the show.”
    A quite similar thing happened years ago with a Thai-speaker who locked himself (out of embarassment)in a 707 bathroom on a flight to the West Coast. Luckily, I had my passport, State Dept. training and a calm voice, as the potty line was long and angry. But it’s another and longer story.

  10. Helen Martin says:

    Just begging to be asked, aren’t you, Dan? Okay, how did the passport help in persuading the Thai gentleman to emerge from the washroom? The rest is self explanatory. Things must have changed around here since the laundry remark didn’t occur to me at all. The funny thing was that everyone enjoyed the incident, including the poor soul trapped inside, once he was out, at least.

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