Recently a mate who plans Powerpoint presentations for corporations said to me; ‘You know what it’s like, you’re creative as well, aren’t you?’ and I rather meanly thought ‘Yes, but you’re not.’ A lot of jobs seem to dangle the promise of ‘creativity’ as some kind of career sop to counterbalance the boringness of the job, but just how do you define a creative career? A group of my friends tried to create a set of questions that would help to answer this (all right, yes, we were in a pub) and here’s what we came up with.
1. Do you know where your next paycheck is coming from?
2. There are two pieces of mail in your post. One is your bank statement and the other is from the National Film Theatre. Which one do you open?
3. Are colours and music more important to you than facts and figures?
4. Between the ages of 6 – 10 did you spend the main part of your time drawing/writing/reading to the exclusion of everything else?
5. Do you know anything at all about sport? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
6. Do you sometimes forget which direction your house is in?
7. Have you been known to describe a book/film/play/piece of art to someone first without remembering your real reason for calling?
(‘Oh, I forgot to mention my mother died yesterday.’)
8. When your accountant is explaining why you’re broke, do you kind of just stop listening?
9. Do you only ever get to turn right when boarding planes?
10. Do you own a tie, left over from when someone died, proper shoes or a black jacket?
11. Do you laugh at people with side partings?
12. Do you speak Hungarian?*
*Apparently ‘speaking Hungarian’ is London slang for the burbling rubbish you hear drunk creatives talking in Shoreditch bars.
Clue: If you gave three ‘No’ answers you are a Creative.