How Did This Become London’s Favourite Suicide Spot?

London

There have always been a few favoured places to top yourself in London, including from the centre of London Bridge into the treacherous Thames waters and the bridge over Archway into, erm, traffic, but lately a new spot is bringing high-fliers down to earth.

Number 1, Poultry is one of the oldest London buildings to have remained in continuous use. There’s a wooden drain beneath it built in 47 A.D. which places at the building site at the birth of Londinium itself. Now there’s a fairly horrible bit of eighties shonk on the site with sort of inverse flying buttresses holding up a pretty lawn upon which city bankers sit drinking champagne. But with five suicides under its belt I’m wondering if the pricey and really not very nice Coq D’Argent restaurant will rename its sky garden ‘The Negative Equity Drop-Off Spot’ or ‘Les Jardins De Doom’.

If suicides are in a disturbed state of mind, it must be hard maintaining an attitude of normality as you pass through the various bouncers and reception desk dragons with thoughts of a death plunge on your mind. I suggest potential suicides check out the menu; with Royal Belgian Caviar whacking in at £120 a pop perhaps they’ll ask themselves what the hell they were thinking of coming here and return to safe ground.

13 comments on “How Did This Become London’s Favourite Suicide Spot?”

  1. Dan Terrell says:

    “We have gathered here today to commerate the life of our brother Somlead Divemaster II, who most unfortunately took his life on receipt of a dinner check for L1,200 at the Cog D’Argent…. As the apple was to Sir Isaac Newton, so the pavement was to the departed. Leaping Londoners up by one. Let us pray.”
    With no British pound key and no access to symbols when not in Word, I have used the capital “L”.
    Seems appropriate that the Coq D’Argent is located above number 1, poltry (P or pT

  2. Dan Terrell says:

    Bother! That is of course poultry (P or p?) And no scan running, Snowy. Have to call my PC master in for a looksee.
    So much nicer in the old days with an upright: just reach in and un-pie any bunched and jammed keys or thump the sucker.

  3. Helen Martin says:

    “and un-pie any bunched…” And did you learn to hand set type, Dan?

  4. Helen Martin says:

    Oh, I like using the L for pounds. That’s what you did with a typewriter, a capital L with a bar typed over it. This is yet another time when one could wish for typewriter flexibility.

  5. John Howard says:

    Bring back the days of hot type shall we boy’s nd girls?

  6. snowy says:

    My sceptical side wonders if some of these sad events are the result of drunken dares, to ‘run the edge’. The Passenger Edge Doors on the Jubilee Line are certainly preventing ‘one unders’ among the denizens of Canary Wharf.

    Shift AltGr $ should give a £ if needed.

    [Dan did you notice the last line on my last comment on ‘A Horror Story Waiting To Happen?’?]

    Now where did I put my John Bull printing set?

  7. Dan Terrell says:

    Helen: Yes I did and worked one summer for a jobbing printer who said he hated to see me go back to high school because I was so fast and so ACCURATE. Really! The next summer and a couple more I worked after school at a book shop called the Magic Circle. Then in high school I worked for a Doubleday’s and met Alice Rooseveldt, who was there for a book signing. She was Teddy’s daughter and a hoot; man could she dish.
    Snowy: Yes, I believe I did and checked my two scans. They are set for late night. And when it is hard to type, it is even harder to send. My comment just sits and I go off and do something else. This only seems to happen to me on WordPress. Strange.

  8. snowy says:

    Indeed, it is most odd. If you have not done so I would suggest downloading and running the two free programs named. I have a slightly uneasy feeling, it is the sort of effect I would expect if a key logger was present.

    [Just in case anyone reading is unaware of key loggers, they wait for a browser to be opened and then record all keystrokes to grab log-ins and passwords.]

    It could just be something MrsT installed to keep you safe when mixing with the hoi polloi. ;-)

    May I ask what MissR would ‘dish’, in English English things that are ‘dished’ tend to be some what different.

  9. Helen Martin says:

    Sorry to sound dim but what is Gr in the above instructions? (Shift AltGr $)
    We had a tiny press in our high school and a few of us mucked around with it. The summer I was 15 I worked for our local weekly paper, mostly proofreading and collating (I missed a sheet in a set of multi copy bills and was royally reamed out. I stapled a set of fall fair booklets that involved a foot operated stapler which was located in the front window. I’m only 5′ tall and couldn’t reach the pedal without sliding off the stool. I spent all morning sliding down and jumping back up to the amusement of quite a number of passersby. The paper was done on linotype but we had a platen press for job printing and I loved being down there. I only got the one summer because I was just under the age when you had to pay minimum wage and the next year the editor hired a boy a year younger than I. I’d been paid $10 a week. That was 1957. The minimum wage was 45c an hour to start. There – I used the $ but there isn’t one for cents. We used to use a C with a slash if there wasn’t a cents sign. Oh, do I ever feel old.

  10. snowy says:

    Helen, it seems that North America has two standard keyboards. The US International version has the RH Alt key reconfigured as the AltGr key [Alternate Graphics].

    A picture is worth a thousand etc. The Wiki article on keyboard layout shows it well, and the extra symbols available. It can be changed in the Control Panel under Region and Language.

    There are many versions, this is only one and might be slightly too early.

    “We are the survivors!!!
    Consider the changes we have seen. We were born before television, before penicillin, before polio shots, frozen foods, xerox, plastic, contact lenses, frisbees and the pill.
    We were before radar, credit cards, atoms, laser beams, ballpoint pens, pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry clothes, and before man walked on the moon.

    We got married first and then lived together. In our time closets were for clothes, not for “coming out of”, bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were not Volkswagons. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeanne, and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our cousins.

    We were before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, and computer marriages. Before day care centres, group therapy and nursing homes. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt and guys wearing earrings. For us, time-sharing meant togetherness , not condominiums, a chip was a piece of wood, hardware meant hardware, and software wasn’t a word.

    In 1950 “made in Japan” meant junk and the term “making out” referred to how you did on your exam. Pizza, McDonald’s and instant coffee were unheard of.

    We arrived when there were 5 and 10 cent stores, where you bought things for 5 and10 cents. We bought ice cream cones for a nickel (chocolate covered 10 cents). For one nickel you could ride a street car, make a phone call, buy a pepsi, or enough stamps to mail one letter and two postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600.00 but who could afford one: a pity as gas was 11 cents a gallon.

    In our day smoking was fashionable, grass was mowed, coke was a cold drink and pot was something you cooked in and Aids were helpers in the Principal’s office. We were certainly not before the difference between the sexes was discovered, but we were surely before the sex change; we made do with what we had. And we were the last generation that was so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby.

    No wonder we are so confused and there is such a generation gap today.
    But we survived!!

    So, celebrate!!! :-)

  11. Dan Terrell says:

    Snowy: Crap man, you be my age. Nice.

  12. Helen Martin says:

    I loved it, Snowy, although there are a few things in there that you’d have to be nearly 90 to be ahead of. Of course, I don’t know how old you are, do I? My sympathies to those of you who are scratching your heads at this point. When my husband hit 65 he declared he was now officially an Old Fart. That’s some of us and we’re quite happy with it. Celebrating!
    Thank you again, Snowy, our source for all things computer ($ rats! even if it doesn’t want to work. I will investigate the keyboard site. If at first you don’t succeed….)

  13. Alan G says:

    Thanks guys – I felt old… Now feeling young again!

    XXX

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