Punch a hole through my bowler hat. Break my umbrella in half. Cut up my Oyster card. I’ve just discovered that I’m not good enough to be an English citizen. Me, the writer of ‘Deep English’ novels – oh, the indignity!
In an idle moment last night (I know, I could have watched TV but I said ‘idle’ not ‘desperate’) I sat down at this computer and took the Official Practice UK Citizenship Test. I thought well, this will be a doddle but it’ll be interesting to see what hopeful overseas future-citizens are asked.
I got 57%.
The pass-level is 75%.
The questions were not just crafty but vaguely worded, so ‘to attend hospital you need a doctor’s certificate’ isn’t clear; do they mean the A&E ward, or an admission? And some questions concerning population figures can only ever be a wild guess unless you’ve learned the answers by rote. I’d love to know how many answers your average Daily Mail-reading ranty English suburbanite would get right. On my showing, ‘not many’ is my guess.
You can try it here.