This is the title of a book culled from a website by Jen Campbell, and is the kind of slim volume you find beside the till – but it’s also a testament to the patience and resourcefulness of put-upon booksellers when faced with the utter idiocy of customers whose reading is limited to Jeremy Clarkson and EL James (I didn’t realise she was English – sorry, world).
Here are a couple of things booksellers have been asked.
‘Have you any books by Jane Eyre?’
‘Do you have this children’s book I’ve heard about? It’s called ‘Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe’.’
‘Are all of your books for sale, or just some of them?’
‘Do you sell Christmas trees? You have a Christmas display in the window.’
But it’s the longer exchanges that put booksellers to the test, as customers ask them to try and recall the book with the green cover they had as a child, or the one with the murder in it, or berate the bookshop for not stocking the sequel to ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’ because after all it was a big success so she must have written one.
And it’s amazing how many times the ‘Twilight’ film franchise crops up here, as people ask to read the book R-Patz liked. I guess they’ll be getting the stupid ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ questions next.
Price £7.99, and a bloody good laugh.