1. ‘Trampire’ is apparently the noun coined to describe the now reviled Kristen Stewart by the very people who hysterically typed ‘Hater!’ into these comment sections a few weeks back (see picture), since she went public on the cheating of ‘Lurch’ R-Patz. The Times describes the upcoming nightmare of now having the two of them work together on ‘Twilight’ Part 57, saying it will be like getting a dog into a bath. Their words, not mine.
2. While we’re in the subject of the Times and its continued freefall into dumb-as-a-stick lingo, their celebrity section describes some weird-looking Munsters with too much makeup called Kardashians (I had to look them up on YouTube. My Lord.) as ‘lavishly-arsed’. Now, the correct word for this is, as many of us know, is ‘steatopygous’, and the Times has missed an opportunity to improve the wordpower of its readers by using it.
3. Meanwhile, the language of the boardroom continues to invade the high street; spotted outside a nail bar in Hammersmith yesterday; ‘Muff Management £10.’
4. The work-in-progress was called ‘Celebrity’; the finished play is called ‘Falling Stars’ and starts workshopping next week. What has emerged is – apart from the central role of Helena – a very different kettle of fish, and I’m hoping we’ll get the play into a decent venue next autumn. I know that seems like a long time away, but I just booked tickets for ‘The Book of Mormon’ for spring next year, and incredibly, found that they were nearly all sold out. Since when did we start planning our lives so far in advance?
5. Thinking about words brings me to recommend three books about them; ‘The Western Lit Survival Kit’ by Sandra Newman is better than her first, ‘How Not To Write A Novel’, and breaks classic books down into importance, accessibility and fun – although her need to add jokes about each feels a little forced. ‘Thank You For Not Reading’ by Dubravka Ugresic is a wonderfully acerbic volumes on publishers, readers and the business of books, and ‘Reading Like A Writer’ by the aptly-named Francine Prose is an intelligent guide for book-lovers.