Off to a flying start with the visiting Mitt Romney suggesting London’s not ready for the Olympics. Guess who’s now seated right at the back of the world stadium, just like Salt Lake City?
Lords turned away Mexican archery fans because the event wasn’t licensed for spectators, fearing a ‘King Harold’ moment.
The Taiwan flag disappeared from Regent Street for fear of upsetting China. Replaced with ad for Ai Weiwei’s latest exhibition.
Frightening starey-eyed cyclops mascots are traumatising small children from all over world. Sponsor Specsavers say they’re very happy with result.
Weather report for the event tonight – a thunderstorm right around the time of the event’s start. BBC sound engineers on tops of long poles have been asked to wear rubber-soled shoes.
There are sixty sheep in tonight’s show. Greek team looking forward to Kleftico later.