Does This Mean I Didn’t Win?

Reading & Writing

Those lovely people at the Horror Writers Association have sent me a very attractive certificate naming me as a finalist for the 2011 Bram Stoker Awards ‘for superior achievement in the Fiction Collection category’. It’s signed by the very coolly named Rocky Wood. While I’m thrilled and honoured, is this the equivalent of the Crackerjack Pencil?*

*This jest courtesy of the Old Jokes Homes, referring as it does to the habit of all losers winning a consolation prize on the British children’s variety show ‘Crackerjack!’, hosted by Leslie Crowther and Peter Glaze, now only remembered by a handful of elderly people and me. It was dreadful.

8 comments on “Does This Mean I Didn’t Win?”

  1. Cid says:

    Blankety Blank cheque book & pen.

  2. Helen Martin says:

    This is where the elderly relation raps you upside the head with her thimble and reminds you that everyone who has read Red Gloves knows its worth and is pressing it on their friends & relations and surely you have a strong enough sense of self worth to recognize how good an author you are so you don’t need all and sundry to weigh in with commiserations, consolations, and assurances.

  3. admin says:

    Actually Helen I just wanted to make the Crackerjack joke. No-one has made the obvious comment yet – that every time the word Crackerjack was used, everyone else had to shout it, although Cid came close!

  4. Dan Terrell says:

    Helen – I shall keep one eye on the thimble hand from now on! Thimblelena. Luckily for me my Mom did little sewing. Her Mom sometimes referred to me as “Peck’s Bad Boy.” They both, however, could wave a large wooden spoon quite well.
    Admin – remember the Horror Writers had to print it, seal it, post it and pay international postage.
    Remember, too, that in slang Crackerjack wstands for high in quality or ability

  5. stephen groves says:

    Hi Chris,

    Do you think they will send me a certificate for being the fan of the author who was a finalist for the Bram Stoker award 2011.

    By the way I still bare the scars of the crackerjack musical play at the end of each show where every line was a que for a song.I was reminded of this when I sat through MAMMA MIA! a few years ago .

    All Best



  6. Gretta says:

    Haha! Your face is priceless, admin. I was going to suggest frame the certificate, but on second thoughts, frame the photo!

  7. Ken M says:

    Best reference I’ve ever seen was in a book about Doctor Who that mentioned Crackerjack with an endnote tag. When you turned to the end note it just said “Crackerjack!”

  8. Colin Leslie says:


    The cruellest of programmes. I remember the kids had to try and carry their prizes across the room and more often than not ended up only holding a cabbage, oh how we laughed.

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