This morning my moisturiser emailed me. It’s very well, thank you, and would like to be remembered as a New Year’s Gift, whatever that is. My hair product is on Facebook and leaves me little messages. My trousers haven’t started tweeting, but it’s only a matter of time.
New year, new tech. Yesterday I watched a 3D Blu-Ray movie at home by turning it on from my phone, which now doubles as a remote/ programming device. It’s wirelessly connected to my laptop, so I can play music through my home’s sound system by accessing it from my mobile via my computer’s iTunes account. Confused yet? I am. The only part of this process (which took a day to set up online) that proved disappointing was the actual film itself, which was boring rubbish (‘Tron’, if you must know). But the formats were great.
Oh, and did I mention I can listen to over a thousand internet radio stations through my TV by searching on an iPad or phone? Everybody’s talking, but is anybody listening? There are a few podcasts I love, most notably RadioLab, a superb internet show, and CNET’s Molly Wood and Brian Tong, both of whom make UK presenters look archaic. It’s just that I thought the future would be about improving the world, then reaching out to the stars, not turning inward to noodling self-interest.
A few years ago parents complained about being pressured into buying Big Macs for their kids via unscrupulous TV advertising. Now, the new format treadmill requires them to purchase swathes of technology for children. I’m amazed nobody has suggested solving the crisis in care homes by giving senior citizens simplified iPads. I must go, my shampoo is calling.