Is Britannia the Worst Hotel Chain In Britain?
A couple of years ago I posted about the Britannia Hotel, Nottingham, naming it the skankiest hotel in Britain. I now accept that this is not the case. That honour must fall to the Royal Albion Hotel, Brighton. Coincidentally, it’s also the home of BFS FantasyCon this year, just as the Britannia was. Oh, and did I mention it’s part of the same Britannia chain?
Not merely ugly and run-down, the hotel is actually dirty, a worn-out dump with one almost redeeming feature, a beach-view bar. At least, it would be a redeeming feature if the windows had been washed in the last fifteen years.
My room’s air-con was a jammed apart window, its brochures were stuck to the table (everything was sticky with some kind of sperm-varnish effect), the bed was presumably bought from a 1925 TB ward that many, many patients had died in, the shower was broken, and the sweet (and doubtlessly underpaid) teenaged staff were exhausted from trying to deal with complaints. It’s not their fault that the owners, Britannia, should be prevented from ever owning hostels, let alone hotels.
Here are a couple of their better rip-offs. Once you’ve found your room (no-one has time to show you) you’ll be so depressed at the grubby, smelly cubbyhole that you’ll want to upgrade at once to a seaview – there are signs everywhere telling you it’s possible. Clearly they’re used to the look of horror on visitors’ faces. But check in time is 3pm, check out time is 10am – so in the meantime you can rent the room by the hour – you know, like hookers do.
All Britannia horror stories here please!