The Riot Of The Dysfunctional

London, Observatory

A headmaster has called the London riots ‘a toxic mixture of dysfunctional parenting and a consumer and celebrity culture which tells youngsters they should have whatever they want.’

I’d like to think that the TV executives who are busy coming up with reality-trash might put down their coke-straws for a moment and consider that statement, but I imagine the Soho House is as busy as ever.

As London’s hot spots returned to normal, looting finally moved out to the Midlands, where local youths obviously have trouble keeping up with current events.

The useless London Mayor, Boris ‘Where’s Boris?’ Johnson, finally crept back from holiday to a chorus of boos. Perhaps now he’ll go and work in the wine trade, where he belongs.

In the 1920s fully half of the capital worked in manual trades that they remained in all their lives and became known for i.e. postman, clockmaker, fireman. There was no post for ‘singer’.

While Balloon-Man and the rest of his government coalition dithers, it might be time for the hooded trainer-nickers of the UK to work out that if they paid attention at school and got an education they might be able to buy all the trainers they wanted and even become celebrities in their own fields.

9 comments on “The Riot Of The Dysfunctional”

  1. Sparro says:

    Very well said, Chris. Sadly, I don’t think the hooded fraternity,( who seemingly can only get what they want with that form of anonymity), do not want to ‘become’ anything. ‘Becoming’ suggests a passage of time, a working-up to period to achieve self-satisfaction. They merely want to ‘be’, without the tedious preamble. They want to be celebrities, they want to be rich they want to be owners of the latest gizmos, and when do they want it? Now!
    It’s what I term the ‘super-glue’ approach. When I taught kids technology, the notion that to join two pieces of wood, you might have to clamp them until the glue dries was seen as pathetic and simply not instant enough. Super-glue was it; one drip, squeeze together and shazam!, it’s glued! Sadly, it’s water-soluble, and is not the universal panacea of cohesion….

  2. Excellent post Chris. The amount of excuses the chattering classes are trying to make for all this is just a sign in how little they actually understand the people behind it. I did a post about it on my blog ( and actually wish I’d mentioned the laziness of those committing these crimes. It always amazes me how much they complain that no one gives them a chance or respects them, but it never occurs them that you have to earn chances and earn respect. And if it does they just spit to the side and say “I’m not doing that – why should I?”. Sigh…

    The worst part is a lot of these kids are actually very interesting and articuate when you get them on their own. The minute they’re in their group though they turn into a untrustworthy, and potentially violent, loser.

  3. EyeOnWales says:

    Very well said, there are no excuses that can be offered. Sparro hits the nail on the head, in citing that few of those on the streets have any desire to become anything, to grow, and that is not the fault of the state, that is the fault of family units failing to instil any sense of ambition or drive and indeed, morality.

  4. Ann Y says:

    Well said – so sad to think of all those poor folk who have had their houses burned and their livelihoods ruined.

  5. FabienneT says:

    Great post… And I couldn’t agree more!

    I was completely depressed yesterday, but now I am greatly relieved that London has been quiet last night. Let’s hope it lasts.

    I have found that it was a great English tradition to make light of a difficult situation, and therefore here’s a link to a series of hilarious photos created by photoshop enthusiasts using the pictures of the looters who probably would get very upset if they saw them, as they usually are so maaanly and hard!
    Comic relief here:

  6. Gretta says:

    Surely it’s not just the celebrity/reality crowd or a youth culture which instill a sense of instant entitlement? What about the banks/financiers from three years ago? The MPs helping themselves to tax-payers money to furnish their homes? The Murdoch Empire with its thieving, bribery and corruption? Old’uns in Britain can be just as dodgy and selfish and destructive as young’uns, it’s just that they have the knowledge and wherewithall to do their skullduggery quietly behind your backs, rather than to your faces.

  7. Alan says:

    Thank you FabienneT. A touch of silliness is very welcome.

  8. Helen Martin says:

    I notice the prime minister is centering on youth gangs from disadvantaged neighbourhoods. What is he prepared to do about comfortable advantaged youths? What about the idiotic law student who will quickly become disadvantaged since he’s put his prospective career down the toilet? One night I understand, sort of, but after that there’s just nothing I can comprehend at all.

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