Mr Mad Hair Fights Back

Media, Observatory

When a Guardian reporter attempted to tackle a story on Donald Trump’s collusion with the Scottish authorities to build another crappy golf course in an area of outstanding natural beauty, Trump apparently sent his thugs around to swipe the journalist’s camera. Full story here. Thank God I’m English and it couldn’t happen here. (Pause to allow full irony of statement to settle in)

If you thought that Trump has mad hair, did you ever stop to consider what his thought processes must be like? Presumably a combination of Mugabe, Bill O’Reilly and, oh I don’t know, Batman or a dog.

By the way, here’s Donald Trump’s own explanation for his Special Needs Haircut from a Rolling Stone article. His bizarre justification for a combover could become a future standard test for mental illness.

“OK, what I do is, wash it with Head and Shoulders. I don’t dry it, though. I let it dry by itself. It takes about an hour. Then I read papers and things. This morning I read in the New York Post about Jerry Seinfeld backing out of his commitment to do a benefit for my son Eric’s charity. I’ve never been a big fan of Jerry Seinfeld — never dug him, in the true sense — but when I did The Marriage Ref, which was his show and a total disaster, I did him a big favor. Then he did this. It’s a disgrace.” He goes on, “I also watch TV. I love Fox, I like Morning Joe, I like that the Today show did a beautiful piece on me yesterday — I mean, relatively speaking. OK, so I’ve done all that. I then comb my hair. Yes, I do use a comb.” He pauses, frowning, casting his mind back to capture the details of the event. “Do I comb it forward? No, I don’t comb it forward.” He pushes the leading edge of the flying wing of his hair back, to show where the hairline is. “I actually don’t have a bad hairline. When you think about it, it’s not bad. I mean, I get a lot of credit for comb-overs. But it’s not really a comb-over. It’s sort of a little bit forward and back. I’ve combed it the same way for years. Same thing, every time.”

2 comments on “Mr Mad Hair Fights Back”

  1. Steve says:

    I’ve always suspected that it wasn’t hair at all, but an alien brain-sucker.
    It’s the only explanation.

  2. Susan says:

    PSA for Mr. Trump:
    Time to fire your barber.

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