Putting the Eek In Greek

Film

So I disobeyed my own advice and ate at the restaurant chosen by Tripadvisor as the one voted best restaurant in the Greek islands. It’s on a beach and has a bamboo roof. It has a worrying grammatical error in its name. Its main room is dominated by a picture of a man’s head sticking out of a toilet. It looked, well, rustic is the polite term.

We had to book. There were people standing around who looked like they’d been waiting for tables since the miitary junta was disbanded. At least I’ll get good seafood, I thought. ‘What’s your fish special?’ I asked the shattered-looking waitress.
‘We got no fish,’ she replied. ‘We had fish, but now we got none.’
It’s a fish restaurant, I thought. Never mind. ‘What else do you have?’
‘Pork.’
‘Okay, I’ll have that.’

It started to rain. The rain spattered through the roof. Water bounced off the table. The cats fled. My beer glass got fuller. Then it started to thunder and pour torrentially. Soon it was raining very hard inside the restaurant. We balanced umbrellas over the table, but it was tricky eating with one hand. I thought the electrics might explode.

With everyone shifting tables, the waitress had orders piling up and couldn’t match the meals to the diners. Everything fell gently apart. We abandoned our table and sat beside the Pepsi cabinet until the fizzing light drove me out.

Some of the diners bonded over the fact that they’d been recommended the place by Tripadvisor. You wouldn’t want to see a picture of the meal, trust me. So here’s a photo of a much nicer Greek meal I had in a restaurant that wasn’t mentioned anywhere on Tripadvisor.

6 comments on “Putting the Eek In Greek”

  1. Alan says:

    “The cats fled”. Brilliant!

  2. Martha says:

    Trip Advisor should come with a health warning. I hope more people like you expose the shame that it has become.

  3. Steve says:

    “Pork from pigs?”
    “No. Cats. Cat pork.”

    That’s when the cats fled.

  4. Stephen Groves says:

    Hi Chris,
    Are you some kind of holiday Jonah.Everywhere you go it rains.

    All Best
    STALKY

  5. Helen Martin says:

    Thank-you, Stalky. I’ve been waiting for the holiday rain to turn up, and it’s never just rain, it’s constant heavy rain until the streams pour over their banks or sudden heavy rain with thunder and lightning. There aren’t many people who can complain about the rain *inside* their holiday restaurant.

  6. Sparro says:

    This sounds like an incidental scene from a potential ‘Carry On Up The Acropolis’…

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