Kill Me Now

London

Just in case you’ve finished Winston Churchill’s or Nelson Mandela’s biographies, you might like to pick up this hefty tome which tells the inspiring life story of a man who has meant so much to so many people for so many years.

(Actually this is Volume 2, the first, ‘Justin: The Unborn Months’ is still available.)

7 comments on “Kill Me Now”

  1. Alan Morgan says:

    Ah, the life and times of a 17 year old.

    ‘Today I rocked, with a girl’s voice. I totally didn’t spend the day knocking one out, and there’s this pub where they serve you if you put on a deeper voice. They totally did serve me. I didn’t knock another one off to Jesus. I rock. I rock hard. I have fans of legal age. I totally do. You won’t know them, they go to this other school.’

    Indeed and if we all wish intently he can be dropped into the middle of an episode of The Inbetweeners.

  2. Mike Carrington says:

    For those who remember with misty eyed fondness the original Wicker Man, can we not just lure him to Summerisle?

  3. The one thing that really scares me about Bieber is the idea that he might be more than a flash in the pan. But it seems unlikely. He’s one of these periodic nobodies who rise on waves of teen hormone hysteria and sink out of sight of any shore a few months later.

    Are The Jonas brothers still a going concern? They were all Justin Biebers way back when, some two years ago or so. Right down to the pious homilies and abstinence endorsements.

  4. Alan Morgan says:

    Oh hey, always worth checking out the Amazon reviews. They’ve got some quotes in there that explains everything.

    ‘It was in Magdeburg that I was gifted with the dark kiss, in like totally not a gay way. The next morning I saw my last sunrise and then like I was all super strong and stuff so I like went old-school on some Ritter arse and that’s how I totally like won the Thirty-Years War.’

    Yeah, vampire. But look at him, obvious really.

  5. Evelyn Sawyer says:

    Two words: Chesney. Hawkes.

  6. Helen Martin says:

    But he is really a girl, isn’t he? You look at that photo and tell me it’s not a girl. A seventeen year old boy? Don’t make me laugh.
    There’s nothing wrong with abstinence or faith, provided you’re not pushing it onto others, but it somehow just makes this persona, well – icky.

  7. Steve says:

    Perhaps it should be entitled “First steps” – period. 17? He looks to be twelve.

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