Behold the above book.
It is the size and weight of a paving stone.
It is also unreadably bad, and all those involved in its publishing should all be shot.
It is not a particularly long book, but being badly written it feels very long indeed.
It has lots of fat white pages to pad it out, and will probably sell at WH Smith near the departure lounge. When you’re going on holiday what you really need is a jumbo book-type object filled with barely readable words that don’t join up into anything resembling literature or entertainment.
It’s about a serial killer and is as much fun as watching a baby eat.
Books like this make me think about buying a Kindle, even though the Kindle’s 1950s Moscow design aesthetic makes me ill.
But there’s another solution. Behold these books!
Three of them together are still smaller than the one big bad book at the top!
The three books are;
‘A Bullet In The Ballet’ by Caryl Brahms & S J Simon
‘The Magic Christian’ by Terry Southern
‘The Drowned World’ by J G Ballard
They are entertaining. They are literature. They are filled with succinct burnished prose.
Only one of the three is available at the Kindle store.
Oh, and the cost of buying all three (from lovely Skoob Books in Bloomsbury) was less than the cost of the book at the top.
So, publishers, if you want to drive all your customers to Amazon, keep publishing the big fat books.
And readers, if you really have to read the big fat books, please shoplift them, but given their size you’d better be wearing a kaftan.