Pauline, Maybe It’s You
The sour-faced old bag in the photo is the right-wing nutjob Australian politician Pauline Hanson, who, in In her maiden speech, called for cuts to Aboriginal welfare and warned that Australia was “in danger of being swamped by Asians”. As you can see in the desperately bleak view from her window, Asians are swarming all over her property and infringing her rights. Now Pauline has decided to become an immigrant herself and is heading to England to live because she apparently loves culture and fears for the children.
Perhaps she should head for Portsmouth, home of cage-fighting infants and paedophile hysterics. The view from her window will be as attractive. Or perhaps she’d like Leicester, where the vibrant Asian community might teach her to embrace hitherto undreamt-of aspects of Britain’s complex cultural identity. Or she could join the BNP, popping down to London for the odd Andrew Lloyd-Webber show. Mercifully she’s too old to be fertile, but I’m sure there are many other ways she can pass the time until a lonely, Valium-addicted death, slumped on a cheap sofa with a scotch egg and Judge Judy. Sorry, I don’t know what’s got into me today. I think it’s the weather. Let’s pop this into a new column called ‘Spleen’.