Appropriate Reading Matter

Observatory, Reading & Writing

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Tired of reading about how a bit of bad weather has paralysed the country, I turn to that ever-fascinating source of inaccurate infotainment the Daily Mail, who, like the Daily Express, have admirably stayed on brief ever since they suggested that Hitler was a good idea in 1939. Today’s online edition boasts these urgent subjects;

Migrants are going to the doctors, which puts a strain on the service for normal people.
William Shatner is getting fat. He is shown next to a photograph of himself taken forty years earlier.
Kelly Osbourne is getting thin, and has bought a new skirt. Quite short, apparently.
Flavio Briatore is also getting fat, whoever he is.
‘Autism robbed our boys of the joy of Christmas.’ – Parents’ anguish.
Just how deadly are those Christmas food recipes? (surprisingly not the same article as the one above)
Mediums have Christmas messages for us from beyond the grave.
Singer has affair.
Singer is arrested.
Dead film star’s daughter is on holiday in a bikini.
er…that’s it.
None of this would be important, except that it’s worth bearing in mind that this is the nation’s top-selling newspaper. But it can be argued that by confirming its readers’ worst fears the Mail is merely reflecting what they want to read. Now that nobody watches TV news anymore, might I suggest a morning online mix of The Times, The Guardian, The Independent, Al-Jazeera and the New York Times? You’ll miss those stories about Shatner’s waistline though…

11 comments on “Appropriate Reading Matter”

  1. Terenzio says:

    Flavio Briatore is chairman and part owner of the Queens Park Rangers. He is married to a 28 year old model, owns a 68 million dollar superyacht and was kicked out of Formula One racing for supposedly fixing a race. And he is not getting fat – he already is fat. The photo of Flav was not flattering. One saving grace – he wasn’t wearing Speedos.

  2. Steve says:

    Please, let’s not forget to note that Jessica Simpson appeared in public…….WITHOUT MAKEUP!!!!

    Obviously a story of earth-shattering importance.

  3. I.A.M. says:

    it’s worth bearing in mind that this is the nation’s top-selling newspaper.

    There’s a lot of chips and fish to be sold in the country you know. They have to get wrapped in something. Plus, consider the Budgerigar with a nude cage floor; oh the same!

  4. I.A.M. says:

    Oh yes, and we just got Al-Jezeera for North America here in Canada. Sadly, we still have CNN and Fox News available, but it’s a start.

  5. I.A.M. says:

    Reading Terenzio’s comment, the image that comes to mind is that feller running the beauty salon / make-over clinic in The White Corridor. One wonders if this bloke was the inspiration for that character, even if a subconscious one?

  6. Helen Martin says:

    “Schools minister wants to bring back classes of 60.” Judging by a couple of people I talked to in York in September things are well on their way there, though not necessarily in York. For some reason when governments find themselves short of cash the two places they cut (migrant workers notwithstanding)are health care and education. But don’t get me started.

  7. Steve says:

    “Education” usually meaning the Arts.
    Math and Science may be the two Pillars of the Temple of Knowledge (he said, waxing pseudo-Victorian), but what’s inside the Temple??? ART, you NINCOMPOOPS!!!!

    There, see? You got me started!

  8. I.A.M. says:

    If you bring back the classes of ’60, is this a return to supporting Back-to-School retirees? After all, they’d be in their Golden Years by now, lots of spare time, plenty of opportunity to get that degree never finished during the decade of love… or am I getting it wrong again?

  9. Helen Martin says:

    Yes, you are. We’ve just managed to get ourselves retired and have no desire to step back into that mixmaster. Anyone who thinks they can teach a class of 60 STUDENTS, as opposed to merely setting a page of work and…. but I said I wouldn’t start.

  10. Steve says:

    Oh go ahead Helen…….start! You know you want to……….

  11. I.A.M. says:

    So… they’re proposing a class of 60 students, all from the Graduation Class of 1960… seems a very specific programme… what would happen the next year? Using the Class of 61 and then increase the enrolment by one individual?

    I’m confused.

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