Jeremy Clarkson VS Socks

Reading & Writing

It’ll happen again this Christmas. Millions of people will think ‘What would Dad like? Socks or a book?’ and because they’re not near a Marks & Spencer (if that’s possible in the UK) they’ll drift into a bookstore. There in front of them they’ll see a bewildering array of colourful covers – but wait! This bloke’s on the telly talking about gearboxes! The perfect gift! Because Clarkson (who admittedly can sometimes be very funny) is the non-reader’s book purchase, a gift to be unwrapped and transferred to a bookshelf without ever being read, the literary equivalent of a scarf or cufflinks.
It’s an odd idea; a horse-owning public school toff who lives a fantasy life with family, nanny, housekeeper and many cars in a village of chinless green-wellie NIMBYs, being sold to working class dads because he has ‘shared values’ with them; a man who doesn’t like multi-culturalism, wants the old ways back, makes fun of anyone different, hates the poor, doesn’t believe in global warming and so on. Clarkson’s tightrope act is an unenviable one. In ‘For Crying Out Loud!’ he complains that there are too many unnecessary words in use, but is described on the cover as ‘The multi-million copy bestselling phenomenon’. He disapproves of The Guardian, but the only quote he can find to sell the book is from Zoo, the magazine for tramps and convicts.
So this Christmas, think before you buy. Choose life. Choose something other than Jeremy Clarkson. And let’s hope his children turn out to be gay. And black.

4 comments on “Jeremy Clarkson VS Socks”

  1. BangBang!! says:

    Clarkson is exactly the kind of man who would normally really wind me up to the point where I’d have to be held back from punching him right in the face. However, for some reason, I just cannot take anything he says seriously. I have no idea if he means half of what he says at all. Maybe that’s just me.

    My wife bought me one of his once which I read whilst on the loo mainly (sorry for the image) because it was a book of his newspaper articles – short and sweet. It was ok for what it was and went to the Scouts’ jumble sale afterwards.

  2. Reuben says:

    Well said, Mr F!

  3. Steve says:

    Gay. And black. And POOR.

  4. Fiona says:

    Everytime I stumble across the show my brain goes in powerdown mode and I think which demograph watches this? Last but not least, haven’t these guys heard of global warming?

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