The World’s Poshest Cinema


If you’re going to sit through a Will Ferrell comedy, you’ll need a comfy chair you can doze in. So how about the Monte Carlo Open Air Cinema. What you get is a choice of seats (sun lounger or armchair) and a wine waiter to bring a chilled bucket of champagne to your table. The programme features old cartoons instead of adverts, and the projection and sound are state-of-the-art. And here’s the kicker; it’s about a third of the price of my local Multiplex.


No riff-raff in the Monte Carlo cinema

No riff-raff in the Monte Carlo cinema

The last time I went, I found myself sitting next to the world’s oldest man, who was being tended by a pneumatic young woman I prefer to imagine was his young niece. She wore a hot pink toweling bikini and had a special seat for her teddy bear. 

This piece is intended as a curtain-raiser to my next regular column on the site, about films, coming soon.

3 comments on “The World’s Poshest Cinema”

  1. I.A.M. says:

    We need more cinemas of this nature and spiritual origin.

    [rushes off and begins construction of one in near-by field of waste-ground]

  2. Mike Cane says:

    >>>No riff-raff in the Monte Carlo cinema

    One day I’d like to be somewhere without riff-raff. I’d probably have to leave America for that change!

  3. Martin says:

    Yes, but if you go to see a film with a foreign-sounding title with a poster displaying the words “This film is subtitled”, is there a helpful member of staff who will say “you do realise this is a subtitled film?”. I think not.

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